Hi, I'm Rick Perry, And I Don't Understand Things

The Rick Perry campaign released a Hail Mary ad yesterday. It's a doozy -- thirty seconds of gay-bashing, patronizing declarations of faith, anti-Christian accusations, and a fundamental misunderstanding of constitutional law.

The video features a Marlboro Man-esque Perry (and his belt buckle) walking in nature, perhaps somewhere on Niggerhead Ranch.

He states:

"I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As President, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion. And I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”

There's so much here, it's hard to know where to start. It's sad, but not surprising, that Perry would take a swipe at our gay and lesbian service members (although you'd think he might realize that many Christians actually support the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell), but last time I checked, kids can pray in school, and there's no law stopping them from celebrating Christmas. The difference, Rick, is in something called the Establishment Clause of the Constitution. Certainly the governor of a state with one of the highest immigration populations might understand that when people become citizens of America, they aren't required to leave their entire culture behind. Many immigrants - maybe not so much in Texas -- practice other religions. Perhaps the 22% of the population who don't call themselves Christians should be forced to recognize and take part in a religion that is not their own.

Rick, kids can pray. They can celebrate Christmas. They just can't have public school prayer-a-thons or Jesus parties. They simply need to refrain from pushing their religion on other kids. That's called being a dick. It's also kind of a violation of rights. Public schools are not in the business of endorsing religion, and are prohibited by the Establishment Clause from endorsing one religion over the other. This is basic stuff -- something that a president should understand and respect. Do we want a leader who disregards the rights of nearly a quarter of the US population?

And that thing about Obama's 'war on religion'? You mean like when he retold the story of Jesus' birth? Or his speech on prayer at the National Prayer Breakfast? Or maybe when he issued a National Day of Prayer proclamation? Perhaps when he expanded Bush's faith-based initiatives? How about when he invited Rick Warren to pray at his inauguration? Or opening rallies with prayer?

I guess we shouldn't be surprised. It's not like Rick Perry has been the poster boy for factual accuracy. This was quite simply a desperate attempt to court Christian conservatives, to raise tired (and misguided) questions about Obama's faith, and to curry favor with the segment of the population that is anti-LGBT, who feel that white Christians are being persecuted, and who believe Obama is a Muslim.


  1. anybody who thinks you have to be 21 to vote and has not a clue about life in America should not be President of anything but his own fan club

  2. He may not be able to read, but he loves jesus and hates homosexuals. Unfortunately, some people will think that these things make him a good candidate for president.

  3. you homophobe, i am currently working to damage your reputation, however i think you have done that well enough.

  4. As a European, this seems like a parody to me. Don't elect this man! :(

  5. So far the original commercial is at 24,850 dislikes on Youtube. I expect that number to jump significantly.

  6. Don't mean to nitpick in an otherwise excellent (as usual) post, but we only have LGB service members; being trans is still grounds for discharge.

    Perry, Perry, Perry. This guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot, face, and every other place he can find. It still mystifies me why we Texans elected him governor.


  8. Wow. This country was founded on religious freedom and the separation of church and state so people cannot be persecuted for their religious beliefs. Is this guy even American?

  9. http://allthefunstuff.tumblr.com/post/12835387725/one-last-thing-while-you-may-be-mistaking-this
    i think we'll all enjoy this