NC Values Coalition Mailer: 'On Aug. 1st I Ate At Chick-Fil-A. On Nov. 6th I Will Vote'

Tami Fitzgerald's anti-LGBT organization, NC Values Coalition, has a new get-out-the-vote campaign.

The slogan of the campaign is "Pledge to Vote: From the Pews to the Polls." It appears that Fitzgerald & co. want to capitalize on the overwhelming support for a certain anti-gay chicken sandwich establishment.

Here's the email that was sent to NCVC's mailing list:

Fitzgerald also released a statement after it was announced that the Democratic platform would support gay marriage:

“This is historic. Marriage has been the union between one man and one woman since before North Carolina became a state and before America became a country. Marriage is a union defined by God – not national political parties. The fact that the national Democrat Party believes it can re-define marriage in a party platform is contrary to our founding principles. It is radical and extreme, and I believe the American people will not stand for it. They will not embrace leaders who embrace homosexual marriage.”

The latest NC Values Coalition email follows closely on the heels of Fitzgerald's bizarre assertion that Equality NC's most recent campaign video depicting an anti-LGBT gun owner repeatedly shooting a pro-equality yard sign was "a thinly-veiled threat against supporters of traditional marriage and can have no other purpose than to incite hatred."

'Incredibly Ironic': Equality NC Responds To NC Values Coalition's Cries Of Victimization

This weekend, the anti-LGBT organization known as the NC Values Coalition sent a strange email alerting their donors to Equality NC's latest campaign video.

NCVC's email claims that NC Equality's video, "Payback Challenge," which features footage of an Amendment One supporter shooting holes in an anti-Amendment One yard sign, was a "thinly-veiled threat against supporters of traditional marriage and can have no other purpose than to incite hatred." (See the full email here.)

The email was clearly a classic example out of the Religious Right playbook: the victimizer playing the victim.

I reached out to NC Equality's Stuart Campbell to get his take on the claims.

"We find it incredibly ironic that the NC Values Coalition would condemn Equality NC for recounting the shooting of one of our supporter's signs when they were deafeningly silent during the Amendment One campaign with their condemnation when the actual shooting occurred," stated Campbell.

"This latest attack comes from the same organization that partnered with the anti-LGBT National Organization for Marriage and various SPLC-identified hate groups to support writing discrimination into our state's constitution--an organization that would now, speaking out of the other side of their mouth, attempt to deflect its own hate-filled agenda by calling us "out of line."

Their twisting of the truth demonstrates that the NC Values Coalition will stoop to any level to promote their own agenda of discrimination and division, and that it has never been more important to unite our supporters in our fight for equality."

To learn more about Equality NC and to help them in their fight for equality, visit their website here.

The Bizarro World Of The NC Values Coalition

The NC Values Coalition sent out a fundraising email yesterday that is jaw-droppingly insane.

Let me walk you through it. Here goes:

This week we are reminded that our fight for traditional marriage did not end on May 8th.

EqualityNC has released a very disturbing video targeting our own Tami Fitzgerald and pro-marriage legislators under their "Payback Challenge" campaign. [emphasis theirs]

Let's stop for a second before we get to the crazy part.

Just so we're all clear, Equality NC's "Payback Challenge" is, in their own words, a fundraising drive "dedicated to making strategic investments in key legislative and state races in North Carolina’s primary and general elections." Disturbing stuff, right?

The "Payback Challenge" video's goal is pretty simple. First, it is intended to remind LGBT North Carolinians and equality-supporting allies that Amendment One was very much "personal," and very much "payback," despite the insistence from Tami Fitzgerald and Vote For Marriage NC that it wasn't.  Secondly, the video is to urge LGBT North Carolinians and pro-equality allies to donate to Equality NC who are working to help elect pro-equality candidates in the 2012 election. Horrible, right?

Here's the video, before we move on with NCVC's facepalm-inducing logic.


Pretty effective, right? Sometimes, organizations like the NCVC do all the work for you. All you need is to hold a mirror up to them, and you have yourself all the ammunition you need (no pun intended, seriously).

Okay, back to the hilarious NCVC email:

The video - which can be found here - overlays gunshots and video of a man shooting at an anti-amendment sign with video of NC Values Coalition Executive Director Tami Fitzgerald praising the passage of the marriage amendment on election night.

The video is a thinly-veiled threat against supporters of traditional marriage and can have no other purpose than to incite hatred. [emphasis theirs]

Their purpose is clear and it is distasteful in light of the shooting incident that occurred just a few weeks ago when a volunteer at a Washington DC homosexual rights group walked into the lobby of the Family Research Council and started shooting. This video is innapropriate, and EqualityNC has crossed the line. [emphasis, again, theirs]

We do not expect EqualityNC to agree with us. But we do expect them to communicate responsibly and civilly. We condemn this video and hope that Americans from all walks of life will join us.

Friends, we at the NC Values Coalition will consistently and constantly defend traditional marriage. In spite of their threats.

Please stand with us against their attacks and join us in condemning this disturbing video.

Jessica Wood
Communications Director, NC Values Coalition

Wait, what?

Okay, so let me make sure I understand. The video, which shows an ALLY OF NC VALUES COALITION SHOOTING A RIFLE AT A PRO-EQUALITY SIGN, is a VIOLENT THREAT AGAINST PEOPLE WHO ARE ANTI-GAY. Huh?

(Also, "In spite of their threats" is not a sentence, but let's not quibble over grammar.)

Also, these are very likely the same folks who thought it was silly and overreaching that people got upset when Sarah Palin released a map with crosshairs targeting legislators who voted for Obama's health care bill.

But I digress.

So, back to the email. "Equality NC's purpose is quite clear"? Um, you mean, that they're showing people how hateful and violent your fellow anti-LGBT, "pro-marriage" supporters were in the weeks leading up to the Amendment One vote?

And while nobody on the pro-equality side is condoning the lone act of violence against hate group The Family Research Council, there is nothing -- nothing -- in the video that even remotely suggests that compassionate pro-equality North Carolinians go out, purchase an arsenal, and shoot anti-gay activists and hate group members.

This is what you do, people, when you have nothing but your own religious bigotry. You make stuff up. You project your own hatred, and the hatred of those who share your beliefs, onto your opponents -- opponents who want nothing more than to allow all of their fellow North Carolinians to be treated equally and to not be discriminated against because of their natural traits.

Faith-Based Support For Same-Sex Marriage

You will often hear, during arguments for or against same-sex marriage, that "it's not about religion."

I have personally been urged on occasion (by religious and non-religious folks) to not stress the religious aspects of the debate. It makes sense that people would want to avoid the faith discussion while fighting for something so important. Mostly, because people do not like to have their faith challenged.

While Americans are not reluctant to inject religion into politics, faith is, at its core, a very private matter. An assault on faith, or even aspects of one's faith, is often perceived as an assault on one's very being.

I don't think we need to shy from the discussion. It's the elephant in the room. It is in many ways the crux of the entire debate.

While many point to scripture to argue against LGBT equality and same-sex marriage, there are many devout religious folks who are pointing to scripture to advocate for acceptance, tolerance, and change.

Via the LA Times:

State Sen. Mary Margaret Haugen is a committed Christian who was a swing vote on Washington's gay-marriage bill. When she finally decided to vote yes late last month, she wrote a blog post explaining her reasons, which beautifully lays out the case for why people of faith should set aside their personal prejudices in the name of equality.

"I have very strong Christian beliefs, and personally I have always said when I accepted the Lord, I became more tolerant of others," Haugen wrote. "I stopped judging people and try to live by the Golden Rule. This is part of my decision. I do not believe it is my role to judge others, regardless of my personal beliefs. It's not always easy to do that. For me personally, I have always believed in traditional marriage between a man and a woman. That is what I believe, to this day. But this issue isn't about just what I believe. It's about respecting others, including people who may believe differently than I. It's about whether everyone has the same opportunities for love and companionship and family and security that I have enjoyed."

In addition to Haugen, Gov. Christine Gregoire, who introduced the legislation, reconciled her religious views with equality, changing her views that she had held for years.

“It’s time, it’s the right thing to do,” Gov. Christine Gregoire said Wednesday as she introduced legislation to legalize same-sex marriage in the state.

It was clearly an emotional day for Gregoire, who is in her final year in office and who up to now has publicly opposed gay marriage. Indeed, she let it be known that since being elected she has struggled privately with this issue.

“I have not liked where I have been for seven years,” she said Wednesday at an event with several gay marriage supporters to announce her proposal. “I have sorted it out in my head and in my heart, and what’s more important to me is, I believe in equality and respect of all citizens.”

Her struggle, she said, was her religion. She’s a practicing Catholic, a church that doesn’t support gay marriage.

“Some say domestic partnerships are the same as marriage,” the governor said Wednesday. “That’s a version of the discriminatory separate but equal argument of the past.”

The governor announced what she called historic legislation to legalize same-sex marriage.

“Our gay and lesbian families face the same hurdles as heterosexual families—making ends meet, choosing what school to send their kids to, finding someone to grow old with, standing in front of friends and family and making a lifetime commitment,” Gregoire said.

“For all couples, a state marriage license is very important. It gives them the right to enter into a marriage contract in which their legal interests, and those of their children, if any, are protected by well-established civil law.”

Here in North Carolina, opponents of the same-sex marriage ban have an uphill battle. This is, after all, the Bible Belt.

That being said, you will not find a shortage of religious leaders, pastors, and organizations, who have no problem reconciling their religious beliefs with support of same-sex marriage.

Take the following Statement of NC Clergy and Faith Leaders Against the Anti-LGBT Constitutional Amendment, with over 300 signatures, posted at Equality NC's Website, as well as the Website of the Coalition to Protect All NC Families:

As people of faith, clergy and leaders in our faith traditions, we are mandated by God to demonstrate and protect love in all its forms and to stand for justice for all of creation. In faithful response to this calling, we commit ourselves, along with thousands of other Christians, Jews, Muslims and other people of faith around North Carolina, to these basic principles:

While we respect the fact that debate and discussion continue in many of our religious communities as to the scriptural, theological and liturgical issues involved, we draw on our many faith traditions to arrive at a common conviction. We oppose the use of sacred texts and religious traditions to deny legal equity to gay and lesbian people.

We oppose any amendment to the North Carolina Constitution that would prohibit gay and lesbian couples from receiving the protections like health benefits and hospital visitation afforded by recognition of their relationships.

We affirm freedom of conscience in this matter. We recognize that the state may not require religious clergy to officiate at, or bless, gay and lesbian marriages. Likewise, a denial of state civil recognition dishonors the religious convictions of those clergy, supported by their faith communities, who officiate at and bless gay and lesbian marriages.

As people of faith, we, the undersigned, urge the North Carolina State Legislature to protect families in North Carolina by opposing the anti-LGBT constitutional amendment.

Conservative Christians might believe that the 300-plus who signed the statement would belong solely to the liberal persuasion, i.e. those who subscribe to a lenient and unrecognizable Christianity. That would be untrue. The list features signatures of leaders from a broad spectrum of religious affiliations: Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Unitarian Universalist, Jewish synagogues, United Church of Christ, Episcopal, Quaker, Mennonite, Buddhist, etc. Truly an example of unity in faith.

The list of signatories is astounding, including the President of the NC Council of Churches (as well as former presidents and board members), the Chair of Religious Affairs for the NC-NAACP, several bishops of the Episcopal Diocese, deacons, elders, rectors, military chaplains and priests.

Pastor Richard Edens of United Church of Chapel Hill states, "I think there are a growing number of people who want the Constitution to reflect the inclusiveness represented in the Gospel."

Rev. Robin Tanner of Piedmont Unitarian Universalist Church states:

"When we vote on the rights of others, it becomes a moral and spiritual issue."

"We are called as religious leaders to speak with the depth of our faith and to speak truth to power in the face of injustice. If I were to be silent, in some ways it would be easier. But I have the opportunity to speak in behalf of my congregation, to speak up for those who don't have a voice."

Donna Miller, a wife and mother of two who attends Morning Star Lutheran Church in Mint Hill, states, "I believe I'm well inside my beliefs as a Christian to believe in same-sex marriage...Above all, you love everyone, and you don't judge."

The Rev. Dr. William J. Barber III, of the NAACP, wrote in an official statement on the ban initiative:

"A vote on the same sex marriage amendment has nothing to do with your personal opinion on same sex marriage but everything to do with whether or not you believe discrimination should be codified and legalized constitutionally...No matter our color. No matter our faith tradition...No one, especially those of us whose forebearers were denied constitutional protections and counted as 3/5ths of a vote for their slave-masters and mere chattel property for other purposes in the old Constitutions-none of us should ever want to deny any other person constitutional protections."

As should be clear, it is entirely possible, and in many cases, quite easy, to reconcile one's religious beliefs with a vote against the same-sex marriage amendment to the NC state constitution.

If, as a person of faith, you can't bring yourself to vote against the amendment, ask yourself why. How are these 300+ religious leaders and members of clergy able to reconcile their faith with a 'No' vote? Which approach is truly aligned with justice, love, and charity? Which approach is truly aligned with the freedoms and liberties afforded to all citizens of our great state? As Rev. Dr. Barber asked, do you believe discrimination should be codified and legalized constitutionally?

Whether or not your beliefs allow you to do so, you must remember that same-sex marriage is already illegal in North Carolina. What you are doing, by voting for the same-sex marriage ban amendment, is quite simply enshrining discrimination into our state constitution.

If there is a common denominator found in all humans, religious or not, it is the desire to go about our lives on earth with a basic set of rights, including the freedom to pursue happiness in a peaceful society. We are sophisticated enough to stop attacking each other for our differences, and to start focusing on our similarities. We are too good to spend time denying others the very things each of us desires in life.

The NC Anti-LGBT Amendment: Coalition to Protect All North Carolina Families Launches Campaign

The Coalition to Protect All North Carolina Families held a news conference Wednesday in Raleigh to unveil its campaign aimed at defeating the amendment question forced onto the ballot by the state Legislature.

The ballot question, for those who have been living under a rock over the past year, would add to NC's Constitution a ban on legal recognition for all unmarried couples, regardless of sexual orientation, and revoke many protections already in place for hundreds of thousands of tax-paying citizens.

The Coalition is comprised of dozens of 'organizations dedicated to defeating Amendment One in order to protect ALL North Carolina families,' including Democracy North Carolina, Institute for Southern Studies, National Association of Social Workers NC, North Carolina Council of Churches, North Carolina Justice Center, PFLAG, and many more.

The organizations serving as the Coalition's steering committee are: ACLU-NC, Equality NC, Faith in America, Human Rights Campaign, Replacements, Ltd., Self-Help, and Southerners On New Ground (SONG).

The Coalition's brand new Website serves as a powerful resource, as both an education tool, and as a call-to-action. Visitors can learn about the many ways in which the amendment would be harmful to NC. They can learn about the many clergy members throughout the state who are committed to defeating the amendment. Visitors can also read compelling stories from NC citizens affected by anti-LGBT legislation.

The site also makes it easy for anyone to get involved. Visitors can sign up to volunteer, attend an event, share their own story, or donate.

The Coalition has made a toolkit available, which features sharable videos and printable pamphlets. Their goal is to have 1,000,000 conversations with North Carolinians before May 8, and they need our help to meet that goal.

Whether or not you think you have a dog in this fight, it's important to familiarize yourself with this ballot question, the harms that would come from an amendment, and to be a part of the conversation.

It's important that NC citizens from all walks of raise their voices. Don't leave it up to the 'activists.' Straight, gay, religious, atheist, old, young, black, white...this affects all of us, and it sets the tone in our state for years to come.

Be on the right side of history and help defeat this harmful initiative on May 8.

Condemnation Of Religious Bigotry Is Not Condemnation of Religion

A reader replied to the post Why A Heterosexual, Married, North Carolinian Father Of Three Cares About LGBT Equality with a comment that has been echoed by many:

Overall, an excellent argument, somewhat marred by the author's sneer at religion, as though all religious people are against same sex marriage (and ignorant, to boot). As a UU minister who has officiated at many same-gender weddings, certainly I support the right-to-marry movement (on civic and religious grounds). But if the author wants to understand mean-spiritedness toward issues based simply on one's personal limited grasp of or appreciation for the issue, he should re-read his remarks related to religion, which I find offensive. Like him, I despair when religion or "bibleism" is used to stand in the way of what I consider to be a civil right, but individuals' religious perspective and identity can easily be as varied and as complex as their sexual orientation and gender identity. I have no problem with the author's embrace of Humanism (which is also variously understood by its proponents), but his Humanism neither entitles nor qualifies him to define and dismiss all religion. That he has done so makes him guilty of the same kind of arrogance and injustice he decries in homophobes.

There have been many comments that deserve to be addressed, but I wanted to clarify my comments on religion, since comments keep coming in, and since I feel it is an important component to the ongoing dialogue about LGBT equality.

My response to the commenter:

I'm uncertain why you find my comments so mean-spirited, arrogant, or injust. My comments in that paragraph state that, as someone who does not subscribe to religion, it is a violation of my rights to impose on me (and others who do not subscribe to religion -- or who do not participate in religious bigotry) legislation that is based on religious ideology -- particularly such ideology that does has no secular use.

In no way am I sneering at those who are religious. If you read my other posts, it will become clear to you that, although I have no stomach for religious bigotry or the encroachment of religion on policy, I believe that there are many religious people who are compassionate, progressive, and who do much good in the areas of social justice and equality.

Whether or not you want to admit it, religious bigotry is most often the root of anti-LGBT sentiment. And as my comments state, religion has no place in legislation. If you find it insulting that I refer to such religious ideas as supernatural, or superstition, then I can't help you there. Religion *is* supernaturalism, and it *does* involve superstition.

If you took offense to my "nonsense" comment, you may want to re-read the sentence. I did not state that *religion* belongs on that heap of nonsense. I stated that *religious arguments against same-sex marriage* belong on that heap of nonsense.

There is a difference.

I can't stress enough how important the faith community is to this issue. I believe it to be of utmost importance that churches, religious organizations, and religious leaders speak up about LGBT equality and the May 8 anti-LGBT Amendment vote. I have all the time in the world for Christian bloggers John Shore and Mark Sandlin, both of which are among the most important voices in this dialogue about religious bigotry.

Even the seasoned equality activists fighting the NC amendment are very insistent that this is not about religion. It's about religious bigotry, which many religious people abhor.

I am careful not to condemn religion. But I have no problem whatsoever condemning religious bigotry.

We Are All Equal

A must-see for North Carolinians.

In September 2011, the North Carolina General Assembly voted to place an amendment on the May 2012 ballot restricting the liberties of minority couples in the state. This video documents the outcry against this act as it would historically be the only portion of the state constitution that would restrict individual rights.



Visit Equality NC to see how you can help.

The Little Blog Post That Could: Things Learned, Additional Thoughts

When I started writing this blog, it was simply a place to collect my thoughts on the things which interest me (religion, science, politics, and culture), the way in which these things are entangled, and they way these things affect our daily lives. If people stumbled across these missives and found something interesting, or thought-provoking, then that was gravy.

When I sat down Wednesday night to type up my thoughts on the NC marriage ban amendment, I never would have imagined that (as of 9.18), the number of people who viewed the post would fill the Rose Bowl to capacity. The number of Facebook shares has surpassed 26,000. These numbers continue to grow, and that simultaneously blows my mind and fires me up.

I have learned a lot over the past few days. One thing I've learned is that I have a lot to learn -- about the diverse LGBT community and the variety of issues this community faces on a daily basis, about the intricate (and often sleazy) politics that happen behind closed doors, and about the application of the law in religiously entangled legislation.

I have learned that I need to do more, personally, to help. Until last week, I have been mostly a silent ally. Sure, I have been posting stories and links related to LGBT equality, and I do speak up when I see or hear others being discriminated against, but I have not done much of anything that couldn't be accomplished by sitting behind a computer keyboard. The people who have reached out to me over the past few days have inspired me to do more, and I'm ready to get my hands dirty.

I wish I could reach out and personally thank each and every individual who shared the link, who re-posted, who called, wrote, or messaged me to say 'thanks.' I never intended it to be about me (more than a few have characterized the post as a narcissistic exercise in broadcasting just how 'enlightened' and 'forward-thinking' I am -- anyone who knows me personally knows this is far from accurate.) This was not about me, it isn't now, and it won't be.

I haven't quite known how to react the overwhelming response to the post, other than to turn it into fuel to do more. Behind every note, tweet, share, comment, etc. is a human being, and that is not lost on me.

I wanted to touch briefly upon some additional thoughts, reactions, and arguments that I did not include in the original post. Several items are things that have come to light since then the original post was written. Many are things I have learned from those who have shared information with me, and they deserve attention.

My arguments for LGBT equality should not be remarkable. I am incredibly grateful for all of the people who reached out to express their appreciation for the arguments I made in favor of equality. It was incredibly touching to hear from everyone, and many of the anecdotes were heartbreaking, and incredibly moving. But I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the feeling that the arguments I made should not be notable in any way. This should be a no-brainer.

Not enough straight allies are speaking up. There are many, many straight allies, and straight ally organizations that are making a huge difference, and in no way should their tireless work be overlooked. But it became clear to me last week that there are legions of us who are simply not making our voices heard (I was one of those people at one time). If you are straight, and are against discrimination, please help to build the momentum. Be a part of this movement to oppose the amendment on the May 8 ballot. As straight allies we need to speak to our families, our neighbors, our faith leaders, and our congregations. We need to not be afraid or embarrassed to put pro-equality bumper stickers on our cars, or put signs in our yards. We need to not be afraid of asking our ministers, mayors, and various organizations what they think about the ban, and what they are doing to make a difference. If you don't know what you can do, reach out to someone who can provide you with direction.

This doesn't have to be about religion. We need to remind people that, whatever they may believe, this amendment debate is a legal matter -- a matter of rights. This is about honoring the First Amendment of our Constitution, and its Establishment Clause. We should no more base our laws on Judeo-Christian dogma than we should base them on Sharia Law. Any law which is rooted in religion requires those who do not subscribe to that particular religion to submit to someone else's belief system. This is wholly un-American. Unfortunately, this amendment will largely come down to religion. We must speak with churches and religious organizations to help them view this as a human rights issue, and a constitutional issue, and not as a matter for religious organizations to dictate (even though religious groups can be instrumental in changing the tide). See Equality NC's Statement of NC Clergy and Faith Leaders Against the Anti-LGBT Constitutional Amendment.

Everyone knows someone influential. Think hard. Surely you know someone who is influential in your community, in your city, in your state, or beyond. Every single person of influence can be instrumental in changing minds. Look at your Twitter followers. Does this list include anyone with tons of followers, or who is a regional or national celebrity? Send them a message. This isn't a time to be shy. Ask them to tweet a link that will inform their followers about the anti-LGBT amendment and urge them to pass the link along to others, to get involved, and to speak up. Have a relative or family friend at a newspaper, magazine, website, radio station, or TV station? Ask them to do a story, or to publish your letter or article. Talk to bands, athletes, artists, business owners. Ask them to organize benefits, to post information on their social media profiles, and to speak out at public events. Ask them to donate, volunteer, or to ask others to do so. These days everyone is so interconnected through social media that we'd be idiots to not use these connections to actually alter the course of history. Remember what social media did in for the Arab Spring?

This amendment is not just about 'marriage.' Even if people believe that this Amendment will not stop same-sex couples from entering into civil unions, it is naive to accept this line of thinking. As Equality NC points out:

The Amendment still has the potential to invalidate domestic violence protections for members of unmarried couples, as an Ohio court did with even narrower language in its state’s marriage amendment.

The Amendment could still interfere with existing child custody and visitation rights that seek to protect the best interests of children.

The revision does not preclude courts from reading that language to invalidate trusts, wills, and end-of-life directives – which are not “private contracts” – in favor of an unmarried partner.
Further, the revision would still invalidate domestic partner benefits now offered by several municipalities.

Voting against the amendment will not legalize marriage. Because of the divisive and emotional nature of the same-sex marriage debate, it's very easy to forget that no matter what the outcome of the May vote, same-sex couples will not be able to marry in North Carolina. We need to remind people about this. It's important in a few ways. First, those who oppose same-sex marriage on religious grounds can still vote against the amendment in good conscience, on the grounds that we should not write the denial of anyone's rights into our state's constitution. Secondly, for those of us who are in favor of equality, this vote is not the end of the fight.

This ban is bad for business. Many readers have stressed the impact that this ban will have on NC's economy. Several out-of-state commenters have stated that if this ban were to pass they would vote with their pocketbooks by not vacationing in our state, a state in which they would apparently be unwelcome. In addition, as Equality NC has stated, the amendment "intrudes on businesses' right to provide competitive benefits to their employees and it signals to major employers that our state is not welcoming of the diverse, creative workforce that is needed to compete in the global economy." To underscore this, just last week, Facebook's co-founder, Chris Hughes spoke up to voice his disapproval of the amendment, stating, in part:

As the co-founder of Facebook, I have some experience with the challenges of attracting the kind of driven, dynamic and diverse employees it takes to build a fledgling start-up into a full- fledged economic success story.

Companies like Facebook, Google and Apple are the future of our global economy. But the proposed anti-gay constitutional amendment signals to these and other major employers, as well as their mobile, educated employees, that North Carolina does not welcome the diverse workforce that any state needs to compete in the international marketplace.

In short, this amendment is bad for business, bad for the perception of my home state on the national stage, and a far cry from job-creating legislation that North Carolina lawmakers should be focused on.

But the negative business impact is far from the only harm of this amendment. Growing up in a conservative atmosphere in Hickory, North Carolina, I felt first-hand the stigma of being different in a Southern state—a feeling that made it clear to me that I was not welcome in North Carolina.

The proposed discriminatory legislation will only perpetuate this stigma for a new generation of creative, talented youth, uninterested in second-class citizenship in a state they call home.

Politics in NC are sleazier than ever. I know that politics and politicians can be incredibly sleazy. That's no real surprise. But I have to admit I was really disappointed to hear some of the tactics used to pass the amendment. Over the past few days I have spoken to a lot of folks about what has transpired over the past week or so. According to a source who was close to many of these discussions, Sen. Richard Stevens (R-Wake), one of the fence-sitting Republicans, had indicated that he was considering voting against the amendment. Allegedly, Stevens was told that if he didn't vote along party lines, he would lose his joint chair position of the Committee on Appropriations, and, in so many words, would not have much of a future in politics. At least ten Republicans allegedly wanted to vote against the amendment, according to the source. I know i am naive, but I still can't quite get over the fact that human beings would sink quite so low to ensure other human beings are denied rights. If this is not enough to make you vote against the amendment, I question whether or not you have a beating heart.

It's very easy to get angry when we hear this stuff. And, honestly, anger can be a great motivator. But I have a hard time letting the anger drown out the messages of solidarity over the past few days, so many from other states and other nations, full of hope and encouragement for the people of North Carolina.

Although it's inspiring to think about all those people filling up the Rose Bowl and rooting for equality, I still realize that this is a relatively small number. There's still a lot of work to be done.

Why A Heterosexual, Married, North Carolinian Father Of Three Cares About LGBT Equality

I am a heterosexual, married, father of three, who has lived in North Carolina for most of my life. There have been a few ugly North Carolina moments during the time I have lived here (mostly related to one particular senator who has been in our rear view mirror for quite some time). But the ugliness that took place in North Carolina General Assembly this week was a stark reminder that, while we have made great strides in this state, there are a lot of people who still wish to deny rights to other citizens based on religious beliefs and misconceptions about sexuality and gender.

Unless you were living under a rock the past few days, you know that the NC Senate voted 30-16 to approve a proposed constitutional amendment banning any legal relationship recognition for same-sex couples. The amendment will be on the ballot in May during the Republican presidential primary.

Same-sex marriage, it should be noted, is already illegal in North Carolina. The amendment is simply a push to put the nail in the coffin, making it extremely difficult for same-sex marriages to be legalized in the future.

The issue of same-sex marriage is complicated in North Carolina, as it is in any state. According to recent survey conducted by Public Policy Polling, while most North Carolinians strongly believe that same-sex marriage should be illegal, they also strongly believe that there should not be a constitutional amendment to write that into the constitution. As conflicted as that message may be, it is clear: people may disagree on an issue, but that doesn't mean we should play political football with our constitution.

I've had people ask why I am so vocal about the issue of LGBT equality. Why is a heterosexual, married father so concerned with what gay people can or can't do? I don't have a dog in this fight, do I?

I find those kinds of questions to be puzzling (and telling), as if we should value the rights of one group of humans over any other group, or only be concerned with the welfare of a group to which we belong. As Elie Wiesel said, "I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."

So, anyway, this is why I care (and why you should too):

LGBT people are citizens. I have friends (some of whom were married in other states years ago) who love each other as dearly as I love my own wife (and who have been committed to each other for just as long). It pains me to know that there are people who reject the validity of these relationships, and who wish to deny these couples the same benefits that other married couples are afforded. These committed, same-sex couples are North Carolinians. They contribute to the economy, they pay taxes, and they certainly do not deserve to be treated as second-class citizens by anyone. Just as it is hard to believe that we once denied marriage rights to interracial couples, or voting rights to women and African-Americans, we will look back upon this time with the same disbelief and shame.

Homosexuality is not a choice. Although science has not zeroed in on any one single cause, the growing body of research suggests that sexual orientation is caused by a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences. The biological factors related to sexual orientation involve a constellation of genetic factors, as well as brain structure and early uterine environment. Homosexuality is so natural, in fact, that it occurs in nature. Still not sold? The following major medical and professional organizations have also concluded that sexual orientation (and gender identity) is not a choice: American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, National Association of Social Workers, Royal College of Psychiatrists, and American Academy of Pediatrics. If you think that all these scientists, doctors, and experts are all part of a conspiracy to advance the homosexual agenda, ask yourself this: at what point in your life did you make the choice to be heterosexual?

Kids do just fine in families with same-sex parents. "All of the major professional organizations with expertise in child welfare have issued reports and resolutions in support of gay and lesbian parental rights" (Professor Judith Stacey, New York University). These organizations include the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Psychoanalytic Association, the National Association of Social Workers, the Child Welfare League of America, the North American Council on Adoptable Children, and Canadian Psychological Association. A recent study indicates that kids with lesbian parents may actually do better than their peers. If you are convinced that kids absolutely need one mom and one dad, you're a) forgetting about the many single-parent families in existence, b) equating 'gut feelings' with facts, c) depriving a lot of children a wonderful life with a family, a stable, loving home, and the best opportunities possible.

Religious arguments against same-sex marriage do not pass the Lemon Test, a three-pronged legal requirement which stipulates that a) the government's action must have a secular legislative purpose, b) the government's action must not have the primary effect of either advancing or inhibiting religion, and c) the government's action must not result in an "excessive government entanglement" with religion. I am not sure I have heard anyone make a case against same-sex marriage that did not invoke religion. The second that your argument mentions God, or references a biblical passage, I cannot entertain your argument. As a Humanist, I reject supernaturalism, pseudoscience, and superstition. Your religious arguments against same-sex marriage belong on that heap of nonsense. They have no basis in reality, are not supported by the science, and have no place in legislation. Unfortunately, anti-LGBT legislators cynically take great care to ensure that the language in their legislation is not based on a religious ground -- even though we all know it is rooted in religious dogma. If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

Happiness is contagious. Really. It's true. And guess what else? Acceptance of LGBT folks helps protect against depression, substance abuse, and suicide. Why in the world would anyone want to cause suffering in others? If the answer lies in your religion, then you need to re-evaluate your religion. Its ancient morality is flawed at best. Societies which embrace human reason, ethics, justice, and the search for human fulfillment are statistically happier societies. According to Gallup data, the happiest nations were Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and the Netherlands. These countries are among the least religious in the world. Coincidence? I'm not asking you to discard your religion. Just keep it to yourself, your family, and your congregation. We'll all be happier if you do.

Definitions change. Society evolves. I keep hearing over and over that "we can't redefine marriage." Well, why not? We have been redefining marriage throughout history. In fact, marriage pre-dates recorded history. The Bible (which is often used to defend the 'one man'/'one woman' definition) is full of polygamous marriages. There is also a long history of recognized same-sex marriages all over the world (including, but not limited to: Egypt, Greece, Rome, Japan, India, England, Italy, and North America). Over the course of history, marriage has meant different things: Love, the granting of property rights, or the protection of bloodlines. In some cultures two men and two women have been allowed to marry. People have historically married for many different reasons: legal, social, economic, spiritual, libidinal, and religious. So stop it with your 'sacred institution' argument and open up some history books. When you say that the Bible is clear about homosexuality, you must also admit that it was also very clear about how to treat your slaves, and the uncleanliness of women during their menstrual period. Listen. Society evolves. Sometimes we leave behind the Bronze Age mentality of the men who wrote the Bible. You want your marriage to be a religious, strictly bible-based marriage? That's fine. Nobody is stopping you from having one.

Don't we want less government intrusion in our lives? It's interesting that most of the people who support the ban on same-sex marriage also seem to be interested in less government intrusion. They want the government out of their health care. They want the TSA to keep their hands off their junk. They want less regulations on corporations. They worry the government is going to take away their rights: to bear arms, to speak freely, to practice their religion, to say 'Merry Christmas,' and to choose what kind of light bulb they use in their houses. They are furious when the government tries to tell them what they shouldn't eat, where they can or cannot smoke, or how much gas their car can guzzle. And these same people want the government to restrict the rights of someone else. They want the government to tell them what they can or can't do with another consenting adult. How do you reconcile your belief in a small, less intrusive government with your approval of legislation intended to restrict the rights of taxpaying citizens and to control who they should and shouldn't love? It's absurd. You want deregulation? Let's deregulate marriage.

I am a father of three beautiful boys. They are all young enough that they have not shown any definitive signs of sexual orientation one way or the other. Chances are, they will be heterosexual. Of course, there are studies indicating that the more older brothers a boy has, the greater the probability is that he will have a homosexual orientation. This is related to the in-utero maternal immune response, which increases with subsequent sons. Of course this is only one of many studies dealing with the hormonal factors associated with sexual orientation, but my point is, if any of my sons were gay, that's perfectly okay. We would accept him for who he is, and love him just the same. I don't worry about that. What I do worry about is this: if I did have a gay son, how could I explain to him that people don't want him to have the same rights as everyone else? How can I explain to him that if he wants to grow up, buy a home, and start a family, he might need to move to a state that doesn't reject him? How can I explain that people believe he is an abomination whose perverted lifestyle will lead him to an eternity in hell? How would I feel if my son killed himself because he was bullied, maligned, ridiculed, and made to feel as if he had no place in society? The only way to avoid any of our children going through this is to send a clear message that people are different and that's okay. Some families just have one mom, or one dad. Some have a mom and a dad. And some have two moms or two dads. And maybe if our state's leaders stop sending the message to our children that they are unwanted, maybe we can save the life of a child. Isn't that worth it?

At the end of the day, it just makes sense. Ask yourself what you are worried about if same-sex marriage is legalized. Whatever your answer is, ask yourself if you really believe what you just came up with. Homosexuality is not going to spread. It is not communicable. Society is not going to turn into a Lady Gaga video. Most gay couples I know are just as boring as you and I. They sit on the couch and watch television. They work at the post office, the hospital, the grocery store, and at real estate agencies, just like heterosexuals do. They eat out at restaurants and shop at Target. Many have pot bellies and don't have much fashion sense, just like me. They own pets, and go to church. They volunteer, sing Christmas carols, and buy Girl Scout cookies. What are you afraid of? What is going to change by allowing these people to commit to one another and enjoy the benefits that you and I enjoy: tax breaks, insurance breaks, bereavement leave, medical leave to care for a sick partner, domestic violence protection, visitation of partner in the hospital, burial determination, medical decisions on behalf of partner. Really sexy stuff. You and I take these things for granted. Nobody wants to go through life not knowing how they will deal with some of these difficult moments in life. Imagine if you were denied any of the above rights when the time came for you and your spouse to exercise that right? I'll tell you what it would feel like. It would feel like you were a second-class citizen.

So, if you're a North Carolina citizen, and you care about equality, please make yourself heard. Whether you're straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer, speak up. Educate yourself about the May amendment vote. Donate, volunteer, tweet, post Facebook statuses, blog, talk to your churches, your neighbors, your friends and relatives. Help them understand the science behind sexual orientation, and help them understand the importance of voting on May 8. 'Like' the organizations that are working to fight this amendment, and stay informed (EqualityNC, HRC). Repost articles and blog posts to keep friends aware.

There is a lot of work to be done. There are many things each of us can do. But we can't be indifferent.

"There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest." - Elie Wiesel

Jesus-like People of Faith Rally to Oppose Anti-LGBT People of Faith in NC

Marriage = 1 obese man + 1 obese woman

On Friday, many kind, compassionate, and brave people of faith will gather in Charlotte, NC for a Faith Community Rally Against Homophobia & Transphobia. This is one of many events across the state to show the faith community's opposition to the anti-LGBT amendment currently being considered by North Carolina legislature.

After going blue in 2008, North Carolina has been experiencing a bit of a GOP backlash, with multiple culture war initiatives harking back to the days of Jesse Helms, an era that many had thought was over.

Last week, the NC Senate passed the poorly-named Women's Right to Know Act, which "requires women to wait 24 hours before getting an abortion within which time they must view an ultrasound or listen to the heartbeat of the fetus and be given printed information about the risks that may be associated with the procedure." The bill should have been named the Woman's Loss of Rights Act.

The state senate also passed a Voter ID bill, requiring all voters to show a photo ID, and eliminating Sunday early voting and same-day registration. Guess which voter demographic is statistically more likely to not have a photo ID, and vote on Sundays after church? You're right.

The Senate has passed more bills recently that set the clock back on North Carolina, but getting back to the anti-LGBT legislation...

The bills, SB 106/HB 777, or the "We Hate Our LGBT North Carolinians Amendment," would amend the state constitution to include a new section that reads "Marriage between a man and a woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State."

Groups of religious folks who closely resemble their messiah in their attitudes and willingness to stand up for what's right will be protesting those folks who claim to be doing the Christian thing by yelling hateful, embarrassing things and denying the rights of human beings who are being who they are.

Many folks wrongly believe that this bill is only about the word "marriage." That is naive. NC Equality states:

"In addition to limiting marriage to opposite sex couples, as state statute already does, it would prohibit any other form of relationship recognition, such as civil union or domestic partnership. This kind of language has been used in other states to take away private benefits such as health insurance for LGBT couples, unmarried opposite-sex couples, and their children. This is a not a hypothetical issue but a very real one. These amendments have also been used to challenge other private contracts between couples. The amendment would not only write the current discriminatory marriage law into the constitution, it would actually take away rights and responsibilities that are currently available to some couples. Both versions [of the bill] effectively represent divisive, discriminatory and distracting legislation that would actively write discrimination into the state’s founding document by prohibiting some form of legal relationship recognition for gay and lesbian couples."

So, if you are in the Charlotte area, and you are one of the religious folks who actually love your neighbors, let yourself be heard.

From the Standing on the Side of Love press release:

Beginning at 4:30 p.m., several hundred people are planning to march on the sidewalks from the Charlotte Convention Center, where the Unitarian Universalist Association is holding its annual meeting, to gather for a 4:45 p.m. rally in Marshall Park that will feature local, national, and international clergy speaking out against proposed legislation that will marginalize and discriminate against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people.

“Locally, some faith leaders are using religious arguments that demean the inherent worth and dignity of gays and lesbians in an effort to promote writing discrimination into our state constitution,” said Rev. Jay Leach, Sr. Minister of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte. “This rally is an opportunity for us as religious leaders to demonstrate a climate of inclusion and acceptance for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals and their families. Our faith calls us to stand on the side of love with LGBT people, and honor the challenges they face, no matter where they live.”

“Love is about embracing all people in our communities,” said Rev. Chris Ayers of Wedgewood Baptist Church. “As faith leaders, we have a moral responsibility to remind people that love knows no border, no gender, no race, and no religion.”