Bryan Fischer: Satan Behind Gay Rights, Planned Parenthood & Environmentalism

Another day, another batshit rant from Bryan Fischer.

According to Fischer, Old Scratch is behind everything from gay rights to Planned Parenthood to environmentalism.

Watch:

Robertson: "Demonic Possession" Behind Homosexuality

Offered without comment:

Wouldn't It Be Better If Satan Was Responsible For Leviticus?

The Book of Leviticus is a doozy. Certainly an apologetic, with a little bit of shoehorning, can make it seem not so bad. It was, after all, written for a specific audience during a specific time in history for specific reasons.

Too often, however, everyday folks cherry-pick things from Leviticus to validate all sorts of ugliness, most notably homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

However, when we read more than just those few segments of Leviticus that might seem to validate some of our own personal prejudices, we see that these cherry-picked lines that are often held as God's truth in 2012, are nested in with a whole lot of downright horrible, or just plain ridiculous, commandments.

Take these for example:

"For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him." (Leviticus 20:9)

"And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death." (Leviticus 20:10)

"If a man lies with a woman during her sickness and uncovers her nakedness, he has discovered her flow, and she has uncovered the flow of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from her people." (Leviticus 20:18)

"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property." (Leviticus 25:44-45)

"Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." (Leviticus 19:27)

"And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire." (Leviticus 21:9)

"...and the swine, though it divides the hoof, having cloven hooves, yet does not chew the cud, is unclean to you." (Leviticus 11:7)

"...do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material." (Leviticus 19:19)

"A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:27)

"But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:10)

Now, I don't care who you are, or what time you're living in, this is some of the worst advice you could possibly give to anyone, anywhere. As I often tell my children, 'I don't care what they did to you, violence is never the answer.' They understand this. God apparently does not -- at least not according to his word.

So often, when we bring up these insane passages from Leviticus, the Christian retort is something like, "Oh, well, Jesus came along and tossed that stuff aside. That's the old covenant. Jesus brought with him the new covenant."

Which is all fine until we also take into consideration that Christians believe Jesus and God to be one and the same. Jesus is, after all (according to Christianity), part of the Holy Trinity. Jesus is Lord, right?

So, this means we are to believe that God in his God form said a bunch of crazy stuff to a certain group of people. Then God in his man form came along and said not to pay attention to the stuff that he said in his God form because that stuff was a little much.  If God knew everything he knows now, and he should (he's God after all), his morality should not have changed over time -- or at least it should never, under any circumstances, at any time whatsoever, have involved child-killing or enslavement.

If we are also to believe that God is all-knowing (including all scientific and medical knowledge), and that he is all-loving and the source of morality, we have to accept that his commandments to these people were totally lacking in scientific and medical knowledge, and that his morality is easily questionable -- even by simple human beings such as you and I.

Take slavery (please!). You would think that under no circumstances could God, the source of morality for the three Abrahamic religions, possibly endorse slavery. It's not even like he was ambiguous about it. Leviticus is very clear on how slavery works, including the minor details of slave-keeping, -selling, and -trading. It's pretty embarrassing, actually.

The below video, by NonStampCollector illustrates just how horrible the slavery laws in Leviticus are, by presenting us with a scenario that would actually be more believable than believing that God would be cool with slavery: Satan, ever the trickster, takes a pen to God's manuscript, turning his very ethical guide on the treatment of other humans into a horrible, slavery-condoning nightmare. Only someone as terrible as Satan could possibly come up with such morality, right?

We can only conclude that flawed humans wrote Leviticus, that morality evolved over time, and that new scripture had to be written later to catch up with the human morality that allowed us to view Old Testament morality as immoral.

We can also conclude that if you use scripture from Leviticus, or anywhere else in the Bible for that matter, to validate the discrimination or mistreatment of other human beings for any reason, you're relying on the archaic morality of Bronze age desert tribesmen.

'Satanic' Pokemon: Destroying The Minds And Hearts Of Our Children

The folks at Bible.com want you to know that, although it may seem to be an innocent childhood preoccupation, Pokemon is "satanic," and your child "may need a prayer of deliverance prayed over them," as "the devil [may] have a stronghold in their lives."

My children, like millions of other children over the past 15 years, love them some Pokemon. They collect the cards, have the figurines, and watch the show from time to time. In many ways, the Pokemon craze (along with Yu-Gi-Oh, and other Japanese imports) is this generation's sports cards. Try as I have, my kids could care less about baseball cards. Baseball cards are one-dimensional compared to these cards which not only are collected, but are also components of a fairly complex role-playing game, and which are integrated into the narratives of movies, video games, and television.

Bible.com (among others, it must be noted) see this craze as more than just a hobby. A good, wholesome, hobby will not, as Bible.com says, "destroy the minds and hearts of our children."

What exactly is so evil about Pokemon?

The question is, what is the right way and how do we know if something is right for our children or even us personally? In the case of Pokemon let us look at the "roots and fruits" of this game. The Bible tells us in Matthew 7 that we can recognize the tree by the fruit that it bears.

The following are some of their assertions (emphasis mine):

Pokemon is short for "Pocket Monsters"...This game makes some of its monsters out as friendly; thus causing children to embrace certain evil spirits as friends instead of resisting them.

Pokemon is the result of influences that are completely mystical and that embrace warrior religions. These belief systems are not compatible with Christianity.

In Pokemon, the monsters actually die to their old self and evolve into the new, more powerful Pokemon. This is the teaching of eastern mystery religions and is spelled out in the Egyptian book of the dead and other occult religions. Through this children are subtly being indoctrinated into the theory of evolution and mysticism of the eastern religions.

Other philosophies are also evident in Pokemon and these are the demonstration of occultic powers in the games and cards. We also find the influences of New Age Cults, Wicca, Witchcraft, Paganism and Satanism in this game.

The trading aspect of Pokemon is unhealthy for children too. This aspect has become addictive in many children...This trading game is not fostering good Christian traits in children but rather greed, combativeness, extreme competitiveness and obsessiveness.

Instead of this game just being one of imaginative fun, it has become addictive and changed the emotional disposition of children. Some children even complain that they don't feel good after playing the game. Since it is a role playing game, some of the characters are not good and this opens the door for children to receive evil influences and even demonic invasion.

Children can receive demon spirits by opening themselves up to the spirits behind Pokemon. When it was first released in Japan in 1997, it was reported that over 600 children went into epileptic seizures while watching the Pokemon cartoons.  The epileptic seizures were said to be caused by the incessant flashing lights in the cartoon overloading the optical nerves and inciting seizure; however, seizures can also be caused by demonic attack.

We encourage you not to let the seemingly little things, like helping choose your children's toys wisely, be a door for unwanted evil influences in their lives. Don't let this "little fox" destroy the minds and hearts of our children.

Bible.com is laying it on pretty thick there.

They seem to forget that we can find in Christianity itself the influences of paganism. If they want Christians to avoid these influences, they will need to stop referring to Jesus as "the light of the world." They might want to hold off on the references to symbols such as "the good shepherd," and the "orans." The might want to shun the Christmas tree and the wreath. They might want to remove all fish (ichthus) symbols from their churches and cars. Crosses, too.

a 'demonic invader'

Lighten up, Bible.com. One thing that's great about the explosion of global trade over the past several decades, and the advent of the internet, is the accompanying explosion of influences from other cultures, especially in areas that were once so homogenized. We have enjoyed advances in technology and medicine through the flowing of ideas from culture to culture. We enjoy a wealth of cuisine, film, art, music, and literature. This is good.

When my kids play Pokemon, they're exploring similar worlds of imagination that I explored with GI Joe, Kung Fu movies, and Marvel Comics. Except they're actually using math. They're engaging in critical thinking, and learning about supply and demand, cooperation and conflict.

And yes, they are actually learning some basics ideas about evolution. Granted, it's bizarro Pokemon evolution, but that's more than I got in NC public schools in the 1980s.

My kids aren't 'receiving demon spirits,' because demon spirits are about as real as Pokemon characters, and my children understand this.

This 'demon spirits' talk is just religious code for 'things we don't understand,' and 'demonic invasion' is metaphysical-speak for 'bad behavior.' And I believe the correct term for 'demonic attack' is 'being a kid.'

If your kid is turning away from Christianity, it's probably not the Pokemon that's the problem. It's probably that you're creeping them out with all the medieval demon bullshit.

Pat Robertson: 'Halloween Is Satan's Night'

Every fall, like clockwork, the leaves change, the Red Sox collapse, and the Christian Right starts freaking out about Halloween.

Just last week we revisited a classic example of religious Halloween paranoia. While that one's hard to beat, there's always someone willing to stick their neck out.

Enter Pat Robertson.

On the Sept. 27 broadcast of the 700 Club, Pat fielded a question from a viewer about how Christians should approach Halloween.

Pat says,"We don't believe in haunted. We don't believe in ghosts," apparently forgetting about that one crucial part of the Holy Trinity.

He continues: "Halloween is Satan's night! It's the night for the devil! It's the time when witches and goblins...like the dead rising..."

Okay, Pat. You say Christians don't believe in 'haunted.' They don't believe in 'ghosts.' But you believe that Halloween is 'Satan's night,' a night for the devil? We don't believe in devils at my house, Pat. We do believe in candy corn, however. Lots of it.

And speaking of zombies, Pat, Christianity has several of the most well-known examples of 'the dead rising' ever. Embrace the zombies, dude.

Back in your casket, Pat. You're scaring the children.