The Batshit Files: News Roundup | 7.14.11

Is it the heat, or the stupidity?

• Michele Bachmann's church says the Pope is the anti-christ. (Raw Story)

• Mike Bickle, official endorser of Rick Perry's The Response prayer rally, sees marriage equality as a sign of the End Times and is rooted "in the depths of Hell." (Right Wing Watch)

• Fox News forgets that 9/11 took place on George Bush's watch, and Dana Perino, sitting right there, fails to correct them. (Raw Story)

• Sarah Palin on debt ceiling: 'Reload,' don't 'retreat' (LA Times)

• Michele Bachmann flubs her Jewish cred by mispronouncing “chutzpah” (News Hounds)

• Tea Party Nation: President Obama is just like Casey Anthony (Right Wing Watch)

• Rick Perry wants to leave government ‘in God’s hands,’ says ‘God, you’re gonna have to fix this.’ (Think Progress)

• Wis. GOP state senate candidate: ‘Why not teach creationism’ and put a cross in school? (TPM)

• Poor Rupert Murdoch is 'annoyed' with all these negative headlines about his company (allegedly) hacking 9/11 victims' private voicemails. (WSJ)

• Jane Hamsher of Firedoglake: Obama supporters 'are the dumbest motherfuckers in the world.' (Bob Cesca's Awesome Blog)

• Michele Bachmann wants to make sure you know she's not pro-slavery. (Mediaite)

Tim Pawlenty Wants To Tell You (For Six Minutes) That He's A Christian

Sometimes I think that the 2011 GOP presidential nomination is going to be one big Jesus-a-thon, with each potential candidate trying to outdo the other with their over-the-top Christian-ness. Some have gone so far that they may just have screwed the pooch (sorry, bad pun in the case of Santorum). Bachmann is praying the gay away. Perry, although not committed yet to running for the nomination, is presiding over a hate-filled Jesus-palooza. Gingrich and Cain can't stop publicly maligning Muslims. And Romney has made it clear that, although Mormons have some wacky beliefs, Jesus is just alright with him.

In the following video, Tim Pawlenty and his wife look lovingly into each other's eyes and declare their love for Jesus, and for each other, rejecting the separation of church and state and gay marriage along the way. All to the soundtrack of a Valtrex ad.



Jesus, protect me from your followers.

Illusion Turns Pretty Women Into Freaky Monsters

It's called the flashed face distortion effect, and it's one of the freakiest illusions you've likely seen.

The illusion was discovered accidentally by Sean C Murphy, along with colleagues Jason M Tangen and Matthew B Thompson.

According to the abstract:

We describe a novel face distortion effect resulting from the fast-paced presentation of eye-aligned faces. When cycling through the faces on a computer screen, each face seems to become a caricature of itself and some faces appear highly deformed, even grotesque. The degree of distortion is greatest for faces that deviate from the others in the set on a particular dimension (eg if a person has a large forehead, it looks particularly large). This new method of image presentation, based on alignment and speed, could provide a useful tool for investigating contrastive distortion effects and face adaptation.

Follow the instructions accompanying the video and see for yourself.

Bachmann's 'Pray The Gay Away' Business: Undercover Video

Responding to accusations that his counseling service is in the business of 'praying the gay away,' Marcus Bachmann has stated, "If someone is interested in talking to us about their homosexuality, we are open to talking about that. But if someone comes in a homosexual and they want to stay homosexual, I don't have a problem with that."

The hidden video obtained by ABC News begs to differ.



The following health organizations have made statements critical of conversion therapy, claiming that the 'therapy' can be harmful, or even fatal, to patients: the American Medical Association, American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Counseling Association, the National Association of Social Workers, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Association of School Psychologists, and the American Academy of Physician Assistants.

Spanish Priest Accused of Homosexuality: 'Measure My Anus'

Andrés García Torres, a priest in the Madrid dormitory town of Fuenlabrada, has been asked to step down after a photo surfaced of the priest in a shirtless embrace with a 28 year old Cuban seminarian.

According to a report, Torres has been ordered by the bishop to undergo psychiatric therapy to ‘cure’ his homosexuality, and to have an HIV test administered.

Torres claims that he and the seminarian are only friends, and has plans to go to Rome to challenge the claims.

"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated," said Torres.

Torres says that his mother has cried nonstop since the accusations. The locals of Fuenlabrada reportedly praise Torres as a dedicated and caring priest. He has gained over 1,000 signatures of support.

I'm not sure what is more maddening about this story: the fact that Torres has been labeled as gay based on a benign photo, the fact that being gay is considered to be an abomination by the church, or the fact that Torres thinks that measuring one's anus could confirm one's sexual orientation.

NOTE: There seems to be more to the story than can be gleaned by the English versions of this story (Spanish stories here), but I barely passed Spanish in college. Spanish-fluent readers, feel free to comment/elaborate.

Herman Cain is Dropping Some Gospel Tracks on Your Asses

Herman Cain's gospel album leaked today, and, well, it's something.

According to a Cain spokesperson, the album is unfortunately not new, but is enjoying a bit of a resurgence on the Interwebs due to Cain being a presidential hopeful and all.

You can check out the tracks below. I mean, it ain't no John Ashcroft, but then again, what is?

The Supporters of Rick Perry's Prayer Rally, In Their Own Words

No commentary necessary.