Spanish Priest Accused of Homosexuality: 'Measure My Anus'

Andrés García Torres, a priest in the Madrid dormitory town of Fuenlabrada, has been asked to step down after a photo surfaced of the priest in a shirtless embrace with a 28 year old Cuban seminarian.

According to a report, Torres has been ordered by the bishop to undergo psychiatric therapy to ‘cure’ his homosexuality, and to have an HIV test administered.

Torres claims that he and the seminarian are only friends, and has plans to go to Rome to challenge the claims.

"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated," said Torres.

Torres says that his mother has cried nonstop since the accusations. The locals of Fuenlabrada reportedly praise Torres as a dedicated and caring priest. He has gained over 1,000 signatures of support.

I'm not sure what is more maddening about this story: the fact that Torres has been labeled as gay based on a benign photo, the fact that being gay is considered to be an abomination by the church, or the fact that Torres thinks that measuring one's anus could confirm one's sexual orientation.

NOTE: There seems to be more to the story than can be gleaned by the English versions of this story (Spanish stories here), but I barely passed Spanish in college. Spanish-fluent readers, feel free to comment/elaborate.

Herman Cain is Dropping Some Gospel Tracks on Your Asses

Herman Cain's gospel album leaked today, and, well, it's something.

According to a Cain spokesperson, the album is unfortunately not new, but is enjoying a bit of a resurgence on the Interwebs due to Cain being a presidential hopeful and all.

You can check out the tracks below. I mean, it ain't no John Ashcroft, but then again, what is?

The Supporters of Rick Perry's Prayer Rally, In Their Own Words

No commentary necessary.

Does The GOP Really Want A President Who Believes We Are In The Last Days?

Bachmann and homophobic BFF Bradlee Dean

For a party that seems to think Obama is out to destroy America, GOP voters seem to really like Michele Bachmann, who seems to believe the end days are upon us.

In 2008, Michele Bachmann served up an insane prayer for her homophobic heavy metal BFF's You Can Run But You Cannot Hide ministry. Remember him? Bradlee Dean? He's the one who said (during the opening prayer at the Minnesota House of Representatives) that Obama is a Muslim.

Anyway, in her prayer for his ministry, Bachmann says all kinds of wackiness, including, "We are in the last days" and "the Harvest is at hand," and how there's a "fire of the gospel" sweeping Minnesota and turning it into a "sweet-smelling incense of praise and sacrifice."

Click play, close your eyes (there is no accompanying video) and imagine this woman as the president of the United States.



What a freak show.

Poll Shows Way Too Many People Take The Bible Literally

According to a recent Gallup poll, 3 in 10 Americans take the Bible literally, saying it is the actual word of God. Although this is lower than the 40% recorded in 1980 and 1984 by Gallup, it is up from the low point of 21% in 2001.

49% say the Bible is the inspired word of God but that it should not be taken literally, while 17% consider the Bible an ancient collection of stories recorded by man.

Additional findings from the poll show that frequent church attendees (those who attend weekly) are most likely to view the bible as the literal word of God, while those who rarely (or never) attend are more likely to view the Bible as the inspired word of god, or mythology.

This may seem benign to many, but let's consider what this means, exactly. Assuming that this 30% is as familiar with the text as they think, we must assume that they believe the following to be true events in history:

God made the heavens and the earth in seven days. Gen. 1; 2

God made a dude out of dirt, and then, later, as an afterthought, took the dude's rib and fashioned a lady out of it. Gen. 1

The entire earth was flooded for 150 days. Gen. 7

A dude built a boat and put two of every living species on Earth on the boat (because God told him to).  He kept all of them afloat and fed for 150 days.  Gen. 6:14-22; 7:8; Matt. 24:38; Luke 17:27; Heb. 11:7; 1 Pet. 3:20

A dude's cane turned into a snake. Ex. 4:3,4,30; 7:10,12

A dude's wife was turned into a condiment. Gen. 19:26

A dude parted a sea. Ex. 14:22.

A dude's donkey talked to him.  Num. 22:23-30

A bush in flames talked to a dude. Ex. 3:2-5; Acts 7:30

A dude was fed by an angel. 1 Kin. 19:1-8

A dude made an entire army go blind. Kin. 6:18

A dude hung out for a while in a fish's belly. Jonah 1:17

A dude turned water into wine. John 2:1-11

A dude fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and a couple of fish. Matt. 14:15-21; Mark 6:35-44; Luke 9:12-17; John 6:5-14

A dude walked on the sea. Matt. 14:22-33; Mark 6:45-52; John 6:16-21

A dude pulled money from a fish's mouth. Matt. 17:24-27

A dude brought a bunch of other dudes back to life. Matt. 9:18,19,23-26; Mark 5:22-24,35-43; Luke 8:41,42,49-56; John 11:1-46; Luke 7:11-16
 
A dude healed all kinds of handicapped people (blind, crippled, lepers, deaf, mute, demoniacs, you name it) John 4:46-54; John 5:1-16; Matt. 12:22-37; Mark 3:11; Luke 11:14,15; Matt. 9:27-31; Mark 7:31-37
 
A virgin had a baby. Matt. 1:23; Luke 1:27,34

A dude came back from the dead. Matt. 28:6,7 Mark 16:6,7; Luke 24:5-7; John 20:1-18

After he came back from the dead, that dude floated up to heaven, body and all. Mark 16:19,20; Luke 24:50-53; Acts 1:9-12.

This is only a fraction of the fantastical, supernatural claims made in The Bible.  One could fill a whole book with them (oh, wait).

If anyone claimed any of the above events occurred today, we would consider them to be delusional, insane, or a ridiculously gullible victim of someone's tall tale. What gives these fantastical, supernatural biblical events their legitimacy is, quite simply, their inclusion in a text that is believed to be the word of God. This is circular reasoning at its finest: "The Bible is literally true, because The Bible tells us it is literally true. If any of it is not literally true, then we can't trust any of it, and that's not possible."

We must ask ourselves why it is that these fantastical, supernatural events only seem to occur during and prior to the Bronze Age, and in the future.  This leaves us with a large gap of zero fantastical events of a biblical scale.  In between what we think occurred, and what we expect will occur, we are lucky to get a Cheeto shaped like Jesus.

This is not just about debunking religion.  These literal beliefs have real-life impacts. When we believe that the Bible is the literal word of God, we deny human rights, we impede progress in medicine, we condone wars, we are complicit in the submission of women, we subscribe to religious exceptionalism, and we deny the realities of the natural world and of the cosmos.  Until we come to terms with the fact that the Bible includes mythology, legend, and parables, we perpetuate suffering and condone harm. There is impact on decisions that are made every single day in the halls of governments across the country.

And as we have seen from the potential GOP presidential candidates, a few are having a hard time separating their literal religious beliefs from public policy.

The thirty percent finding from Gallup is not a number we can should feel comfortable with.  It is not a stretch to state that 30% of Americans are incapable of thinking critically, do not have a grasp on the fundamental laws of nature, and reject basic science.  And a good portion of those folks are penning legislation at this moment.

4-Year-Old Boy Was Killed By NC Religious Extremist Because He Was Thought To Be Gay

Prosecutors plan to seek the death penalty against Peter Lucas Moses Jr., a religious extremist who allegedly killed Jadon Higganbothan, 4, and Antoinetta Yvonne McKoy, 28 in a Durham home.

Jadon Higganbothan was shot in the head because Moses believed that the 4-year-old was gay.

Moses subscribed to the beliefs of the Black Hebrews. Although the beliefs of Black Hebrews vary, according to court documents, Moses allegedly subscribed to the belief that a forthcoming race war would leave African Americans dominant and supreme. Moses lived with multiple women referred to as wives or common-law wives, each of whom referred to Moses as "Lord."

According to the News and Observer:

Sometime in October 2010, prosecutors told the judge, one of the women told the defendant that Jadon had hit another child's bottom, and Moses retaliated because he thought the boy might be homosexual - partially because the child's father had left his mother.

Homosexuality, Cline contended, is frowned upon by the Black Hebrews, so the defendant asked the boy's mother to get rid of him.

Moses then ordered two of the other women to set up computers and speakers in the garage, prosecutors contend, then the defendant took the boy into the garage, where music and the Lord's Prayer in Hebrew blared, and a gunshot sounded. One of the women told investigators the boy was shot in the head.

Some of the women cleaned up his bloodied body, prosecutors said, then put it in a suitcase in the master bedroom until Moses complained about the smell.

Antoinetta McKoy was killed within weeks or months of the boy (the prosecutors are unsure of the exact time of death). Prosecutors maintain that, according to a diary entry, McKoy feared that "Lord" might kill her because she found out she was unable to have children.

McKoy's body was kept in a trash can inside the home before it was buried in a shallow grave near the boy's, according to prosecutors.

Symphony of Science: "Children of Africa (The Story of Us)"

The tenth Symphony of Science offering, "Children of Africa (The Story of Us)" has been released and is well worth a few minutes of your time.

A musical celebration of humanity, its origins, and achievements, contrasted with a somber look at our environmentally destructive tendencies and deep similarities with other primates. Featuring Jacob Bronowski, Alice Roberts, Carolyn Porco, Jane Goodall, Robert Sapolsky, Neil deGrasse Tyson and David Attenborough.

If you're new to the project, take some time to enjoy the nine previous offerings.