Michele Bachmann's Story of America

See? This is why it might be a good thing for Michele Bachmann to get the GOP nod. Endless comedy show fodder.

From Jimmy Kimmel Live:

Miss USA 2011 — Should Math Be Taught In Schools?

The real tape of the actual Miss USA pageant contestants answering a similar question on evolution can be viewed here.

The Batshit Files: News Roundup | 6.28.11

A whole buttload of crazy for you today:

• Rick Santorum: Liberals want marriage equality in order to ‘undermine faith' (ThinkProgress)

• Pat Robertson says God will destroy America because of gay marriage. (Right Wing Watch)

• Ohio state rep wants to ban abortion because China has too many smart kids (Right Wing Watch)

• Michele Bachmann's fans quickly revise Wikipedia entry for John Quincy Adams to match Bachmann's assertion that he was a Founding Father. (ThinkProgress) 

• Bryan Fischer weighs in on Michele Bachmann's "John Wayne" gaffe ... by claiming that all the Left is doing by mocking her is "reminding us of the clear connection between homosexuality and pedophilia." (Right Wing Watch)

• Bryan Fischer (he's on a roll!) says fidelity in gay relationships "just doesn't happen" and that it is common for gay men to have 500-1000 partners in their lifetimes (Right Wing Watch)

• An Oregon couple who treated their infant daughter with faith healing rather than take her to a doctor were sentenced to 90 days in jail and three years probation. (Oregon Live)

• N.Y. town clerk won't sign marriage licenses for same-sex couples. I suppose she should find a new job? (Daily Kos)

• Chuck Colson says that “the tyranny of tolerance” will drive America into a totalitarian state (Right Wing Watch)

• Catholic Church denies funeral mass to San Diego gay businessman (LGBT Weekly)

• Authorities find bomb apparently targeting immigrants in Arizona (SPLC Hatewatch)

• Michele Bachmann stands by claims that ‘Founding Fathers’ ended slavery (Raw Story)

Michele Bachmann and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Poor Michele Bachmann can't catch a break.  It makes you wonder if Sarah Palin is holding out on announcing her candidacy just so Michele Bachmann can serve as the whipping post for a bit. 

On the heels of her latest gaffes, Bachmann told CNN, "I’m a substantive, serious person and I have a strong background...I'm introducing myself now to the American people so that they can know that I have a strong academic scholarly background, more important I have a real life background."

Yesterday, Bachmann had a little bit of a run-in with a convicted serial killer. As you've probably heard by now, Bachmann, while in Waterloo, IA, told a Fox News reporter, "Well what I want them to know is just like John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too."

John Wayne wasn't from Waterloo (he was from Iowa, but three hours away in Winterset), but killer clown John Wayne Gacy lived, worked, and killed there.

If Bachmann were a scholar, she might have avoided the John Wayne comparison altogether. Anyone who had followed John Wayne beyond his screen appearances would have been aware that he was an ex-socialist WWII service-avoider who said "I believe in white supremacy..."

As if her day couldn't get any worse, Tom Petty is reportedly issuing a cease and desist letter for her use of his song 'American Girl' during her rally.

The song, it has been noted, was also sung by the kidnapped politician's daughter was in "Silence of the Lambs."

Michele Bachmann, the scholar, appears not to have studied the lyrics to many of the songs played during her rally (and don't be naive, those songs are not pulled out of a hat). The Atlantic has compiled a list of questionable lyrics from the songs, which included "Start Me Up," "Let's Get Loud," and "I Got You (I Feel Good)."

Bachmann has also been using Katy Perry's 'Firework,' which anyone knows, unless you live under a rock, is somewhat of an LGBT anthem. Bachmann the scholar, is ridiculously anti-LGBT. As Richard Roeper stated, "'Firework' is "all about acceptance and tolerance and celebrating our differences. Perry dedicated the video (which has nearly 200 million views on YouTube) to the “It Gets Better” campaign, which is dedicated to fighting harassment of gays and lesbians."

Of course, all of this will lead Bachmann and her supporters to decry the "lamestream media" as sexist haters who are ready to put her every move under a microscope. Sound familiar?

Hold on, folks. We're only one day into the 'official' Bachmann campaign.  There's a whole lot where yesterday came from.

States That Allow Marriage Between First Cousins

Sometimes maps say everything:

via NYT.

Scientology Sing-along Propaganda: 'We Stand Tall'

This video has been making the rounds recently. When it was first posted, not many could verify its legitimacy, or any details surrounding its origin. Except that it was really cheesy and was probably created sometime in the 80's. But we're starting to see some information surface.

David Miscavige, the leader of the Church of Scientology, appears prominently in the video.

The Village Voice has compiled a 'who's who' to accompany the video:

At the 2:40 mark, you'll see everyone together warbling their guts out. Our tipster provided the following playbook:

Blonde with brown top and black jacket is Shelley Miscavige -- who is now missing. To her right -- Ray Mithoff, Former Inspector General for Tech RTC, reported to be in The Hole. To his right -- Mark Yager, Former Inspector General for Admin RTC, reported to be in The Hole. To his right -- Mark Ingber -- Former Commanding Officer of CMO = Commodore Messengers Org, reported to be in the Hole. To Ingber's right and behind him, Mike Rinder Former Commanding Officer of OSA, currently blown and speaking out against the cult. Front and Center -- David Miscavige [the little dude] wearing weird Hermes/goatse shirt. To DM's right and behind him -- Heber Jentzsch, Former President of the C of S, now reportedly in the The Hole. To DM's right -- Greg Wilhere -- Inspector General, reportedly still working for DM. To Greg Wilhere's right-- Marty Rathbun, Former Inspector General for Ethics RTC, now out and speaking out against the cult as well as running the "Independent" Scientologists. To Marty's right -- Guillaume Lesevre Executive Director Int. reportedly in the The Hole.

So many friends of Miscavige, now either defected and speaking out against him or disappeared to Scientology's "RPF," the prison "hole" that has swallowed up so many of his top loyal friends.

Take a gander, before David Miscavige's minions have the video removed. You know damn well they will.

30 Reasons Why Bryan Fischer is Dangerous and Must Be Stopped

Bryan Fischer, major douchebag

Despite his growing role as a kingmaker in Republican politics, not many people know about Bryan Fischer. His name is benign-sounding, like a cross between a chess player and a washed up 80's pop singer. But don't be fooled. This guy is arguably more dangerous than Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and any other batshit GOP politician you could name.

The scariest thing about Bryan Fischer is that, despite the fact that he spews hateful bile on a daily basis (via his talk radio show and via his role as spokesperson for the American Family Association), GOP politicians continue to cozy up to him, and (seemingly) none of them seem to believe he should tone it down.

People for the American Way have just released a ginormous profile on Bryan Fischer entitled, The GOP's Favorite Hate-Monger: How the Republican Party Came to Embrace Bryan Fischer. It's exhaustive, and it's scary.

From PFAW's Introduction:

Responsible politicians wouldn’t fawn over an unhinged activist who opposes civil rights and religious freedom for minorities, wants to make being gay a crime and decries his personal rivals as enemies of God, right? But that is exactly what is taking place today in the Republican Party, as likely and declared GOP presidential candidates line up to win the approval of Bryan Fischer...

Fischer’s unabashed bigotry is on full display throughout his writings and on-air rants. His entire career is based on leveling venomous attacks against gays and lesbians, American Muslims, Native Americans, progressives and other individuals and groups he detests. He wants to redefine the Constitution to protect only Christians, persecute and deport all American Muslims, prohibit gays and non-Christians from holding public office and impose a system of biblical law.

While Fischer’s views are undeniably shocking, what is most disturbing is his growing influence within not only the Religious Right but also the Republican Party.

Scary stuff.

Here's a partial list, pulled from PFAW's report, of why Bryan Fischer is full-on batshit and dangerous:

1. He successfully pressured Hallmark stores in Idaho to refuse to carry greeting cards for same-sex weddings.
2. He fought legislation that would provide workplace protections for gays and lesbians.
3. He has likened gays to domestic terrorists, pedophiles, slave traders and murderers, and decried the adoption of children by gay parents as a “terrible, inexcusable, inhumane thing to do to children.”
4. He espouses the view that gays were responsible for the Nazi Party and the Holocaust. 
5. He believes that “homosexuals should be disqualified from public office,” banned from serving as judges and barred from working as teachers, and that “homosexual behavior should be against the law.”
6. He claims that bullying-prevention programs will be used for the “brainwashing” of children to make them gay, arguing that “homosexuals cannot reproduce, so they have to recruit; it’s the only way to swell their numbers.” For example, Fischer believes that the television show Glee is “glamorizing homosexual behavior” and “promoting deviant sexuality,” as well as idolatry.
7. He warned, after DADT was repealed, that the military would “now be feminized and neutered beyond repair” and insisted that “the world is now a more dangerous place for us all.” 
8. He likened African Americans to rabbits.
9. He said Native Americans cannot be considered full-fledged American citizens until they convert to Christianity.
10. He said Native Americans “remain mired in poverty and alcoholism because many native Americans continue to cling to the darkness of indigenous superstition instead of coming into the light of Christianity and assimilating into Christian culture."
11. He says American Muslims are a “toxic cancer” to American society and that Muslim Student Associations are “parasites.”
12. He urged the U.S. to ban the construction of mosques, likened mosques to IEDs, and prayed for the destruction of the Dome of the Rock. He has repeatedly claimed that Muslims are inherently dangerous, unintelligent and mentally ill due to inbreeding.
13. He believes that Muslims must be purged from the military and prohibited from enlisting, and that the U.S. not only ban Muslim immigration but also deport and expel all American Muslims.
14. He maintains that only Muslims who renounce their religion and convert to Christianity should be allowed to come into and live in the U.S. 
15. He maintains that Muslims deserve no First Amendment rights.
16. He believes that the Founding Fathers only wanted to extend rights to different Protestant denominations.
17. He denies the existence of the separation of church and state, and believes that states and localities should be allowed to establish official religions. 
18. He wants to model the U.S. justice system on the biblical law of ancient Israel (He cites Genesis to attack Muslims and uses Leviticus to demonize gays and lesbians).  
19. He says President Obama is tyrannical, anti-Christian and intentionally weakening the country so the U.S. can join “every other nation which has ignored God or kicked him to the curb.”
20. He maintains that Obama “nurtures this hatred for the United States of America” and “nurtures a hatred for the white man.”
21. He believes that progressives are “unpatriotic” and “un-American,” arguing that they want to muzzle Christians and overthrow the Constitution in order to advance their social and political agenda.
22. He blamed Sarah Palin’s unpopularity on actual demonic forces that emerged from the political left, calling criticism of Palin “unvarnished demonic evil on full display” and “pure homicidal rage and hate.” He made clear that his charges of demonic conspiracy were not metaphorical.
23. He urged right-wing activists to have more children in order to give conservatives a numerical advantage in the political and cultural battles of the future.
24. He demands that the government “close down Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and welfare,” claiming that Social Security and Medicare represent an “an ungodly and unconstitutional recipe for national suicide.” 
25. He insists that the only difference between progressives and terrorists is that “so far [progressives] haven’t taken to killing people”
26. He demanded, following the tragic news that the SeaWorld whale Tilikum had killed a trainer, that the whale be put to death. He claimed that the courts should use the “ancient civil code of Israel” in dealing with Tilikum.
27. He blamed a deadly attack by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone Park on the fact that American “culture has jettisoned a biblical view” of animals, and called it a sign that God is punishing America.
28. He maintains that Christians should not vote for any candidate who supports gay rights in any form because, he says, homosexuality is an “abomination in the nostrils of God” that “no rational society should ever endorse.”
29. He said that gays should be “ashamed” and “embarrassed,” contends that the “deviancy cabal” is responsible for suicide among gay youth and that “homosexual activists are not wholly innocent in these tragedies.
30. He says the separation of church and state is an idea straight out of Nazi Germany.

It's very easy for progressives and moderates to look at Bryan Fischer and assume that someone with these ideas would never be taken seriously, much less garner serious political clout.  Those people are forgetting that the same thing has been said about potential GOP presidential candidates Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum, who have been mocked endlessly by the left.

Ben Adler wrote of Bryan Fischer's growing influence in Newsweek:

You might think that attention in the form of mockery is not what a public-policy organization would want. But when your business is waging a culture war, there is no such thing as bad publicity for ideological or rhetorical extremism. Being criticized by liberals in the media raises the profile of a socially conservative organization, and burnishes its credibility among the base. Just ask Sarah Palin, or her fans.

Fischer's radio show is distributed on over 200 stations across the country, and reaches over 2 million listeners. While that may seem like chicken scratch compared to Limbaugh or Beck, Fischer's show attracts some of the GOP's biggest names. Guests on Fischer's show include: Herman Cain, Mike Huckabee, Tim Pawlenty, Haley Barbour, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Jim DeMint, Jim Inhofe, Roger Wicker, Lamar Smith, Steve King, Jack Kingston, etc., etc.

Many of these GOP figures have expressed support for Fischer's bigotry and extremism, even making campaign promises to Fischer to enact legislation supporting some of his views, or to repeal certain legislation he disagrees with.

Aside from the realization that more people think like Bryan Fischer than one would imagine, is the scariest realization of all: This man might actually run for president one day.