Batshit Match Quote Quiz: Can You Tell The GOP Candidates Apart?

Much is being said about the batch of leading GOP presidential candidates being entirely too similar. DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL) claimed on Face the Nation that the candidates were "so interchangeable they might as well be Legos." 

Nearly all of the 2012 hopefuls are desperately courting the religious right, and as such their stances on social issues are virtually indistinguishable. 

Ever since Reagan won the 1980 election on the backs of the Religious Right, the GOP has relentlessly catered to the whims of conservative Christians, usually at the expense of more important factors.  Over thirty years later, it appears that  winning the GOP nomination is impossible without proving one's allegiance to the Religious Right, or at least pretending to fit in (see Romney).  And in thirty years, we have not seen a batch of candidates this committed to the Religious Right's theocratic ideology.


On to the quiz...

Test your ability to differentiate the 2012 GOP hopefuls based on the following quotes. Match each quote to one of the below candidates. (Answers at bottom of page.)

A = Michele Bachmann, B = Herman Cain, C = Rick Perry, D = Newt Gingrich, E = Rick Santorum, F = Mitt Romney, G = Ron Paul

1. “I'm just going to tell you from my own personal life, abstinence works.”

2. “Literally, if we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”

3. “Based upon the little knowledge that I have of the Muslim religion, you know, they have an objective to convert all infidels or kill them.”

4. “I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time [my grandchildren are] my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists.”

5. “Who do you worship? Do you believe in the primacy of unrestrained federal government? Or do you worship the God of the universe, placing our trust in him?”

6. “What if [Obama] is so outside our comprehension, that only if you understand Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior, can you begin to piece together [his actions]?”

7. “The American Left hates Christendom. They hate Western civilization.”

8. “The Founding Fathers envisioned a robustly Christian yet religiously tolerant America, with churches serving as vital institutions that would eclipse the state in importance.”

9. “Corporations are people, my friend.”

10. “And what a bizarre time we're in, when a judge will say to little children that you can't say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”

11. “But unlike abortion today, in most states even the slaveholder did not have the unlimited right to kill his slave.”

12. “Abortion leads to euthanasia. I believe that.”

13. “We're in a state of crisis where our nation is literally ripping apart at the seams right now, and lawlessness is occurring from one ocean to the other. And we’re seeing the fulfillment of the Book of Judges here in our own time, where every man doing that which is right in his own eyes—in other words, anarchy.”

14. “Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being?' There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That's where it's difficult to prove.”

15. “Tiger [Woods] will be 40 years old in 2016. The Republican Party should begin grooming him now for a run at the White House. His personal attributes and accomplishments on the golf course point to a candidate who will be a problem solver.”

16. “I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life, and sexual identity disorders. This is a very real issue. It's not funny, it's sad. Any of you who have members of your family that are in the lifestyle — we have a member of our family that is. This is not funny. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say this is "gay". It's anything but gay.”

17. “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”

18. “As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else. It's being drawn to Iraq. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the eye to come back to the United States.”

19. “So let me say on the record, any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood.”

20. “Would you rather live in a state like this, or in a state where a man can marry a man?”

21. “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.”

22. “Pray for me...and my team. Ask that the Lord will give us a special anointing on how to put our team together, who those team people will be, that he would bring those people to us.”

23. “Lord, the day is at hand. We are in the last days. You are a Jehovah God. We know that the times are in your hands. And we give them to you…The day is at hand, Lord, when your return will come nigh. Nothing is more important than bringing sheep into the fold. Than bringing new life into the kingdom…You have weeded that garden. The harvest is at hand.”

24. “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

25. “Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America - the religion of secularism. They are wrong.”

26. “I believe homosexuality is a sin because I’m a Bible-believing Christian, I believe it’s a sin. But I know that some people make that choice. That’s their choice.”

27. “There is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us...prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it.”

28. “This may be an opportunity for her (Melissa Etheridge) now to be open to some spiritual things, now that she is suffering with that physical disease. She is a lesbian.”

29. “The secularists wage an ongoing war against religion, chipping away bit by bit at our nation’s Christian heritage. Christmas itself may soon be a casualty of that war.”

30. “In some ways, to believe in evolution is almost like a following; a cult following — if you don’t believe in evolution, you’re considered completely backward. That seems to me very indicative of bias as well.”




Answers: 1=C, 2=A, 3=B, 4=D, 5=C, 6=D, 7=E, 8=G, 9=F, 10=A, 11=E, 12=G, 13=A, 14=A, 15=B, 16=A, 17=A, 18=E, 19=D, 20=C, 21=E, 22=A, 23=A, 24=A, 25=F, 26=B, 27=D, 28=A, 29=G, 30=A

2012 Candidates: Where They Stand On Marriage Equality

Marriage Equality USA has released a handy matrix detailing each candidate's stance on marriage equality and other related issues.

Most of us don't need much help knowing where the GOP candidates stand, unfortunately, but it is interesting to see where they split hairs.

It's also more than a bit disappointing to see that a Republican is more progressive on the issues than Obama. One would think it wouldn't require an openly gay politician like Fred Karger to find support across the board for equality.

(h/t Pam Spaulding)

Does The GOP Really Want A President Who Believes We Are In The Last Days?

Bachmann and homophobic BFF Bradlee Dean

For a party that seems to think Obama is out to destroy America, GOP voters seem to really like Michele Bachmann, who seems to believe the end days are upon us.

In 2008, Michele Bachmann served up an insane prayer for her homophobic heavy metal BFF's You Can Run But You Cannot Hide ministry. Remember him? Bradlee Dean? He's the one who said (during the opening prayer at the Minnesota House of Representatives) that Obama is a Muslim.

Anyway, in her prayer for his ministry, Bachmann says all kinds of wackiness, including, "We are in the last days" and "the Harvest is at hand," and how there's a "fire of the gospel" sweeping Minnesota and turning it into a "sweet-smelling incense of praise and sacrifice."

Click play, close your eyes (there is no accompanying video) and imagine this woman as the president of the United States.



What a freak show.

30 Reasons Why Bryan Fischer is Dangerous and Must Be Stopped

Bryan Fischer, major douchebag

Despite his growing role as a kingmaker in Republican politics, not many people know about Bryan Fischer. His name is benign-sounding, like a cross between a chess player and a washed up 80's pop singer. But don't be fooled. This guy is arguably more dangerous than Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and any other batshit GOP politician you could name.

The scariest thing about Bryan Fischer is that, despite the fact that he spews hateful bile on a daily basis (via his talk radio show and via his role as spokesperson for the American Family Association), GOP politicians continue to cozy up to him, and (seemingly) none of them seem to believe he should tone it down.

People for the American Way have just released a ginormous profile on Bryan Fischer entitled, The GOP's Favorite Hate-Monger: How the Republican Party Came to Embrace Bryan Fischer. It's exhaustive, and it's scary.

From PFAW's Introduction:

Responsible politicians wouldn’t fawn over an unhinged activist who opposes civil rights and religious freedom for minorities, wants to make being gay a crime and decries his personal rivals as enemies of God, right? But that is exactly what is taking place today in the Republican Party, as likely and declared GOP presidential candidates line up to win the approval of Bryan Fischer...

Fischer’s unabashed bigotry is on full display throughout his writings and on-air rants. His entire career is based on leveling venomous attacks against gays and lesbians, American Muslims, Native Americans, progressives and other individuals and groups he detests. He wants to redefine the Constitution to protect only Christians, persecute and deport all American Muslims, prohibit gays and non-Christians from holding public office and impose a system of biblical law.

While Fischer’s views are undeniably shocking, what is most disturbing is his growing influence within not only the Religious Right but also the Republican Party.

Scary stuff.

Here's a partial list, pulled from PFAW's report, of why Bryan Fischer is full-on batshit and dangerous:

1. He successfully pressured Hallmark stores in Idaho to refuse to carry greeting cards for same-sex weddings.
2. He fought legislation that would provide workplace protections for gays and lesbians.
3. He has likened gays to domestic terrorists, pedophiles, slave traders and murderers, and decried the adoption of children by gay parents as a “terrible, inexcusable, inhumane thing to do to children.”
4. He espouses the view that gays were responsible for the Nazi Party and the Holocaust. 
5. He believes that “homosexuals should be disqualified from public office,” banned from serving as judges and barred from working as teachers, and that “homosexual behavior should be against the law.”
6. He claims that bullying-prevention programs will be used for the “brainwashing” of children to make them gay, arguing that “homosexuals cannot reproduce, so they have to recruit; it’s the only way to swell their numbers.” For example, Fischer believes that the television show Glee is “glamorizing homosexual behavior” and “promoting deviant sexuality,” as well as idolatry.
7. He warned, after DADT was repealed, that the military would “now be feminized and neutered beyond repair” and insisted that “the world is now a more dangerous place for us all.” 
8. He likened African Americans to rabbits.
9. He said Native Americans cannot be considered full-fledged American citizens until they convert to Christianity.
10. He said Native Americans “remain mired in poverty and alcoholism because many native Americans continue to cling to the darkness of indigenous superstition instead of coming into the light of Christianity and assimilating into Christian culture."
11. He says American Muslims are a “toxic cancer” to American society and that Muslim Student Associations are “parasites.”
12. He urged the U.S. to ban the construction of mosques, likened mosques to IEDs, and prayed for the destruction of the Dome of the Rock. He has repeatedly claimed that Muslims are inherently dangerous, unintelligent and mentally ill due to inbreeding.
13. He believes that Muslims must be purged from the military and prohibited from enlisting, and that the U.S. not only ban Muslim immigration but also deport and expel all American Muslims.
14. He maintains that only Muslims who renounce their religion and convert to Christianity should be allowed to come into and live in the U.S. 
15. He maintains that Muslims deserve no First Amendment rights.
16. He believes that the Founding Fathers only wanted to extend rights to different Protestant denominations.
17. He denies the existence of the separation of church and state, and believes that states and localities should be allowed to establish official religions. 
18. He wants to model the U.S. justice system on the biblical law of ancient Israel (He cites Genesis to attack Muslims and uses Leviticus to demonize gays and lesbians).  
19. He says President Obama is tyrannical, anti-Christian and intentionally weakening the country so the U.S. can join “every other nation which has ignored God or kicked him to the curb.”
20. He maintains that Obama “nurtures this hatred for the United States of America” and “nurtures a hatred for the white man.”
21. He believes that progressives are “unpatriotic” and “un-American,” arguing that they want to muzzle Christians and overthrow the Constitution in order to advance their social and political agenda.
22. He blamed Sarah Palin’s unpopularity on actual demonic forces that emerged from the political left, calling criticism of Palin “unvarnished demonic evil on full display” and “pure homicidal rage and hate.” He made clear that his charges of demonic conspiracy were not metaphorical.
23. He urged right-wing activists to have more children in order to give conservatives a numerical advantage in the political and cultural battles of the future.
24. He demands that the government “close down Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and welfare,” claiming that Social Security and Medicare represent an “an ungodly and unconstitutional recipe for national suicide.” 
25. He insists that the only difference between progressives and terrorists is that “so far [progressives] haven’t taken to killing people”
26. He demanded, following the tragic news that the SeaWorld whale Tilikum had killed a trainer, that the whale be put to death. He claimed that the courts should use the “ancient civil code of Israel” in dealing with Tilikum.
27. He blamed a deadly attack by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone Park on the fact that American “culture has jettisoned a biblical view” of animals, and called it a sign that God is punishing America.
28. He maintains that Christians should not vote for any candidate who supports gay rights in any form because, he says, homosexuality is an “abomination in the nostrils of God” that “no rational society should ever endorse.”
29. He said that gays should be “ashamed” and “embarrassed,” contends that the “deviancy cabal” is responsible for suicide among gay youth and that “homosexual activists are not wholly innocent in these tragedies.
30. He says the separation of church and state is an idea straight out of Nazi Germany.

It's very easy for progressives and moderates to look at Bryan Fischer and assume that someone with these ideas would never be taken seriously, much less garner serious political clout.  Those people are forgetting that the same thing has been said about potential GOP presidential candidates Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum, who have been mocked endlessly by the left.

Ben Adler wrote of Bryan Fischer's growing influence in Newsweek:

You might think that attention in the form of mockery is not what a public-policy organization would want. But when your business is waging a culture war, there is no such thing as bad publicity for ideological or rhetorical extremism. Being criticized by liberals in the media raises the profile of a socially conservative organization, and burnishes its credibility among the base. Just ask Sarah Palin, or her fans.

Fischer's radio show is distributed on over 200 stations across the country, and reaches over 2 million listeners. While that may seem like chicken scratch compared to Limbaugh or Beck, Fischer's show attracts some of the GOP's biggest names. Guests on Fischer's show include: Herman Cain, Mike Huckabee, Tim Pawlenty, Haley Barbour, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Jim DeMint, Jim Inhofe, Roger Wicker, Lamar Smith, Steve King, Jack Kingston, etc., etc.

Many of these GOP figures have expressed support for Fischer's bigotry and extremism, even making campaign promises to Fischer to enact legislation supporting some of his views, or to repeal certain legislation he disagrees with.

Aside from the realization that more people think like Bryan Fischer than one would imagine, is the scariest realization of all: This man might actually run for president one day.

The 5 Most F'd Up Quotes From The NH Republican Candidate Debate

1. Herman Cain: "I would not be comfortable [hiring a Muslim] because you have peaceful Muslims and then you have militant Muslims, those that are trying to kill us. And so, when I said I wouldn't be comfortable, I was thinking about the ones that are trying to kill us, number one."  
Ever heard of the 'No Religious Test Clause', Herman?

2. Michele Bachmann: "...Inalienable rights [are] given to us from God, not from government. And the beauty of that is that government cannot take those rights away. Only God can give, and only God can take. And the first of those rights is life...I stand for life from conception until natural death."  
Excuse me, but you just threw up religion all over my shoes.

3. Newt Gingrich [re: hiring Muslims]: "Now, I just want to go out on a limb here. I'm in favor of saying to people, if you're not prepared to be loyal to the United States, you will not serve in my administration, period. We did this in dealing with the Nazis. We did this in dealing with the Communists. And it was controversial both times and both times we discovered after a while, you know, there are some genuinely bad people who would like to infiltrate our country. And we have got to have the guts to stand up and say, 'No.'"
Please see Mr. Cain and get back to me tomorrow with a report on the "No Religious Test Clause."

4. Rick Santorum: “I’ve not only taken a position, but I’ve taken a bullet for the pro-life movement.”  
Tell that to George Tiller.

5. Newt Gingrich: "Well, I helped author the Defense of Marriage Act."  
Just hilarious.