Pastor Steven Andrew's 'Christian Voting Guide'

How many more props can I cram into this shot?

Pastor Steven Andrew, president of USA Christian Ministries and author of Making A Strong Christian Nation has just published his Christian Voting Guide.

Andrew is one of several evangelical pastors who have recently chastised Franklin Graham and Joel Osteen for saying that it's okay for a Christian to vote for a Mormon.

How exactly does Pastor Andrew think a good Christian should vote?

"God shows Christians who to vote for. He has four main voting requirements," states Andrew.

Every person we vote for is expected to have these Biblical qualities:

1) Rules in the fear of God - Fears God, reverent of God

2) Able - Strength, efficiency, wealth and leader of the army

3) Person of truth - Reliable, stable, faithful, true doctrine

4) Hating covetousness - Hater of unjust gain (bribes and other frauds)

If a person doesn’t have all four qualities, they don’t meet God’s standard. Would you agree that a God-fearing person obeys God’s laws found in the Holy Bible and brings others who fear God into government appointments? An unprincipled person brings the wicked who disobey God in leadership.

Andrew goes on to stress the need for a Christian theocracy:

We are to welcome God to all government, schools and courts. The first act of Congress was to read the Holy Bible and pray in Jesus’ name. We are to bring back the Holy Bible and Christian prayer in schools as the settlers, George Washington and our Founding Fathers did for 355 years (1607 – 1962). We are to have pro-life laws and we are to keep God’s marriage of one man and one woman in lifetime covenant.

He states, "The First Amendment means Christianity only, not other beliefs. This is the intent of our Christian Founding Fathers."

So, if you are a tax-paying Jew, Muslim, atheist, agnostic, Unitarian, Buddhist, Hindu, Wiccan, etc., you're not welcome here.

Obviously making a case for Michele Bachmann, Andrew states, "While God calls men to lead the USA, the Bible shows that if there isn’t a God fearing man, then a God-fearing woman can be chosen as in the book of Judges when Deborah arose, judged and led the people to victory."

Andrew had been pushing Bachmann and Santorum, but with Bachmann out of the running, is left hailing Santorum as the most God-fearing presidential candidate.

Andrew doesn't mince words when analyzing the remaining candidates:

Ron Paul

"Pray for Ron Paul to seek God first, then Christian freedom...Ron Paul is good at exposing corruption and resisting tyranny, as our Founding Fathers say to do. But Ron Paul voted to put homosexual sin in the military. Paul needs to publicly repent for erroneoulsy believing that God gives the right to sin... Prosperity and freedom are the fruit of obeying God. They don’t come by a libertarian belief that wants freedom but not God.

Newt Gingrich

"While Newt Gingrich is not as bad as a Mormon who has a different gospel (Mitt Romney) or Rick Perry who has betrayed the USA, or Barack Hussein Obama who covers Jesus’ cross and name at Georgetown and who says to leave a living baby to die who survives an abortion, Newt Gingrich is not God’s best for the USA.

1) Newt Gingrich endorsed the homosexual and abortion candidate in NY’s 23rd in 2010 instead of Hoffman, who is more God-fearing. Hoffman may have won if Gingrich did what was right before the Lord. On top of this, voter fraud was discovered and Gingrich did not defend Hoffman.

2) Newt Gingrich would not get rid of all “Government Healthcare” that harms Americans with inferior care, higher costs, “death panels” and other non-Christian things.

3) Reports to be confirmed say Newt Gingrich would help illegal aliens who then vote for anti-God and anti-USA issues, like Obama. This means American citizens are harmed.

4) Newt Gingrich filmed with Nancy Pelosi for the hoax of “Climate Change”.

5) Newt Gingrich has been married three times. What are Gingrich’s loyalty and leadership skills?"

Rick Perry
Andrew has many reasons why Perry is unworthy of the Christian vote. Among them:

"Like obama, Perry signed a hom*os*exual activists “Hate Crimes” law that mocks God and favors sinful sexual “orientations” that God and our Founding Fathers forbid." [Note Andrew's lower-case spelling of Obama, repeated elsewhere.]

"Rick Pery said that Texas can secede from the USA, but God wants the USA to unite in Christ not divide. A “president” doesn’t break up the #1 nation in the world."

"Rick Perry mandated that young girls be vaccinated with Gardasil that killed other girls. But wouldn’t obeying God in abstinence protect girls from sexual diseases?"

"Rick Perry refused to stop obama and tsa’s “sexual assault” and groping at Texas airports when a super majority in the Texas Congress wanted to stop the “sexual assualts”. Rick Perry doesn’t stand up for God’s unalienable rights of personal modesty in our Declaration of Independence."

"Rick Perry campaigned for Al Gore."

Mitt Romney

"Mitt Romney is a Mormon. Mormon’s are secretive, exclusive, do not display the cross and deny the real Jesus Christ His Gospel."

"Romney also did “Government Healthcare” like obama’s"

"Brought Massachusetts away from God, with homosexual sin."

Barack Obama
As if we needed to know Andrew's views on Obama, he provides a laundry list of reasons why Obama is not someone real Christians should support:

"According to Jesus Christ we see that Barack Hussein Obama is not a Christian by his fruit. Jesus warns of wolves in sheep’s clothing."

"Covered Jesus’ name and cross at Georgetown"

"Advocates to leave living babies to die who survive botched abortions"

"Has the blood of millions of aborted babies on his hands"

"Mocks God with sexual and homosexual sin"

"Follows Saul Alynski who dedicates books to Lucifer"

"Called Americans “enemies” in October 2010"

"Mocked God and our Founding Fathers by removing the references to God in the Declaration of Independence when quoting it"

"Lied about the USA’s national motto that it wasn’t “In God We Trust”"

"Lied that the USA is not a Christian Nation. To try to separate a nation from God is the greatest evil to a nation."

"Has broken the law: DOMA, War Powers Act, allowed Mexicans 70 miles into Arizona, “czars”, NDAA removing “due process”, no proof of Constitutional eligibility, worked against the USA constitution…"

"Works against the interest of Americans (“Government Healthcare”, “Hate Crimes”, “ENDA”, “Stimulus”…)"

Based on his writings, I believe we can conclude the following about Pastor Steven Andrew:
"Completely batshit."

"Consistently exhibits terrible grammar and a horrible understanding of constitutional law."

"Cherry-picks his scripture and his US history equally."

"Could really use a fact-checker."

"Creepy as hell."

Bryan Fischer On Why God Designed Men To Be Leaders In Home, Church & Society

American Family Association spokesman, and biggest douchebag in the world, Bryan Fischer thinks he's figured out why America is in so much trouble.

It's women's fault, of course (remember that whole Garden of Eden thing?

According to Fischer, God designed men and women differently so that men could run everything.

"The way we have gotten in trouble in public policy, is we have gotten away from masculine characteristics of public policy We have feminized our public policy."

Watch:

Bryan Fischer: HIV Does Not Cause AIDS, Massive Drug Use Among Gays Causes AIDS

I am a horrible person.

By now, it's clear that Bryan Fischer, of SPLC-designated hate group The American Family Association, is either a brilliant work of performance art or simply just a horrible, willfully ignorant, bible-thumping hatemonger suffering from acute narcissistic personality disorder.

He was already vying for 'Worst Person in the World,' but this week Fischer ratcheted up the batshit yet again.

Via Right Wing Watch:

It really should come as no surprise that there is no depth to which Bryan Fischer will not sink in his relentless assault against all things gay, as he is now openly promoting the idea that the HIV virus is not the cause of AIDS.

Fisher dedicated two segments on his program yesterday to interviewing Peter Duesberg, author of "Inventing the AIDS Virus," who asserts that the idea that HIV causes AIDS was a scheme concocted by scientists in order to get research grants and that the symptoms attributed to AIDS are really caused by massive recreational drug use among gay men.

And it is a theory which Fischer wholeheartedly endorses.

The full interview can be viewed below, if you can stomach it.

Rick Perry Doubles Down On Homophobic, Theocratic Ad, Still Doesn't Understand Things

Rick Perry responded to the public reaction to his homophobic theocratic abomination of a political ad in an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN.

In the interview, he doubled down on his anti-gay rhetoric, stating that he'd reinstate DADT if elected. He also defended discrimination against gays by the Boy Scouts and Catholic charities.

When pressed by Wolf on the issue of DADT, Perry served up one of his famous 'gut feeling' answers (if you recall, when Perry was asked how he knows abstinence works, he replied that he knows it works, "from my own personal life."

BLITZER: But military commanders tell me, in the past few months since the policy has changed, they’ve had no problems. Including the commandant of the Marine Corps, who was originally opposed.

PERRY: Well, I’m just telling you the members of the military I talked to, when this was being talked about, I didn’t talk to anyone who was for it…

When pressed on the topic of Obama's 'war on religion,' Perry didn't fare much better, and resorted to McCarthy-esque absurdity, ignoring the many instances of Obama publicly embracing religion.

PERRY: We’ve got a federal judge, for instance, in San Antonio that said these kids can’t say an invocation at school. I mean, they say you can’t even use the word “invocation” at their commencement.

BLITZER: Is that President Obama’s war on religion?

PERRY: I’m just giving you some examples of what we’re seeing from the left, of which, I would suggest to you, President Obama is a member of the left and, uh, substantial left of center beliefs, that you can't even have a Christmas party. You can't say a prayer at school.

Rick Perry is ignorant, ladies and gentlemen. He is dumber than a bag of hammers. Sure, we hear the old 'why can't my kids pray to Jesus at their public school' thing from our ignorant uncle on Facebook, but this guy is the Governor of Texas, and a potential (although unlikely, at this point) candidate for the highest office in the country.

PERRY: I ask people, 'Which one of the Ten Commandments do you not like?' I mean, why aren't our children allowed to pray in school? Why can they not celebrate Christmas? Those are, I think, traditional and solid American values that we're seeing trampled upon by this Administration.

Well, Rick, I'll tell you the problem with the ten commandments. Four of them are solely religious edicts that have nothing to do with ethics or law, and three of them are one-dimensional prohibitions that are irrelevant to modern law. So, as a non-religious tax-paying American citizen, I don't care for the enshrinement of religious edicts. That kind of reeks of theocracy. You're not crazy about Sharia Law, so I'd think you'd be able to get your head around this.

Why aren't our children allowed to pray in school? They can pray all they want. Prayer is very much protected in public schools by our Constitution. There are simply some restrictions -- mostly that prayer can't be mandatory, and you can't have 'sanctioned' prayers during school time or school events. Because, see, that would be forcing it on someone who has the right to not be proselytized to as part of a captive public school audience. I am sure that if you imagine a teacher leading the class in an Islamic prayer, you can understand how this might not be cool, Rick.

Why can't they celebrate Christmas at school? Well, first of all, Christmas has in no way been banned in public schools. Again, there are simply rules that are appropriate to follow to avoid alienating students or identifying them with a religion not their own. Because, Rick, aside from the above issues relating to proselytizing, we live in a melting pot. It's not as homogeneous as it was when you were a kid. If you want the kids to celebrate Christmas in school, then maybe we need to provide equal time for other religions. Here you go -- here's an inclusive, interfaith calendar of several dozen holidays and festivals observed by Americans. Good luck getting any actual teaching done.

Here's the Blitzer-Perry video, for those who are interested in killing a few brain cells:

Conservatives Fear Rampant Bestiality In The Military

Religious right nutjobs Michele Bachmann and Bryan Fischer are very worried that our military is going to start having sex with animals.

Yes, really.

Last week, the US Senate voted to repeal Article 125 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. The repeal was part of a larger piece of legislation, the National Defense Authorization Act.

While the Defense Act has certainly been controversial, bestiality hasn't been the reason.

You see, Article 125 is an archaic statute which bars troops from engaging in consensual sodomy, and its repeal was tacked on to the defense act (hardly unusual in legislation) -- a move applauded by LGBT rights advocates.

However, since the article defines sodomy as "unnatural carnal copulation with another person of the same or opposite sex or with an animal," the nutjobs read this as the military condoning bestiality.

Here's World Nut Daily asking White House press secretary Jay Carney if the president approves or disapproves of sex with animals:


Last night, Michelle Bachmann and Glenn Beck watched that video together on Beck's web show.

Bachmann reacted:

It’s absolutely abhorrent, reprehensible and you think, this is the kind of thing parents try to keep from their children because parents want to have their children enjoy innocence. Children need that latency period, they need innocence and your own government legalizes this? … Are we really going to say ho hum and laugh and go back to sleep? There’s got to be something we stand for...So the big question is, is there anything that’s wrong? That’s my question. If that’s not wrong, Glenn what’s wrong? Is there anything that’s wrong? Then you have a very serious problem on your hands.

Here's that clip:


Bryan Fischer, of hate group American Family Association, stated:

You have an instance of bestiality now, and the military has no legal way to deal with it. That's been now normalized...Once you cross the threshold that sexual intimacy is between for a husband and a wife in marriage...once you cross that boundary, there is no place to stop."

Here's that clip. It's a little long and painful, but feel free to watch if you're so inclined:


Next thing you know, military animals will be requiring separate shower and bathroom facilities.

Pat Robertson Ruminates On Time, God Speaks to Jim Bakker & Rick Joyner Via Thunder

Today is a banner news day for televangelist batshittery.

Here we have Pat Robertson ruminating on precognition and the mystery of time:




And if that didn't blow your mind, sit back and watch as God speaks to Jim Bakker and Rick Joyner through thunder:




You're welcome.

Skulls And Peace Symbols? Get Off Pat Robertson's Lawn!

Is your child going to hell?

Pat Robertson has increasingly become a parody of himself. He's so out of touch with society that you'd think he were an SNL invention if you didn't know better.

Just last week he was asking if mac & cheese was 'a black thing.'

This week, a viewer asked Pat if she should speak to her children about the symbols that she's seeing on her kids' clothing: peace symbols and skulls.

Of course, Pat responds, peace symbols are 'broken crosses' and skulls are 'symbols of death.'

Joseph Farah Wants To Limit Muslim Immigration, Fears Halal Turkeys

Joseph Farah, the nut-job in chief over at World Nut Daily, believes America has been over-imbibing at the Muslim Immigration Saloon, and he'd like to cut us off and close out the tab.

Joseph Farah and moustache

In a post titled 'Time To Limit Muslim Immigration,' Farah writes:

I say it's time to strictly limit Muslim immigration into the United States to avoid the kinds of disasters we're seeing in Europe.

Of course, Farah first mentions that he's an Arab-American man. But we have grown to understand that after someone proclaims, "Now, to be clear, I have gay friends," we can expect them to say some pretty nasty things about gays.

America doesn't owe anyone – no foreigner anywhere – an engraved invitation to be part of our national covenant and community. We've been far too lax in allowing anyone and everyone who flouts the rules entry to this country. That has to stop immediately. The very next step we need to take is to determine what kind of people will help our nation stay true to its Constitution and other founding principles – and what kind of people will not.

America's No. 1 national objective should be to ensure that we as a nation remain committed to the Constitution...We should not consider bringing in foreigners who seek to transform America into France or England or Iran. America remains a unique, though faltering, experiment in self-government because of its Judeo-Christian heritage. And, if we ever forget that and treat all other belief systems as equal to the worldview of Judaism and Christianity, the America we have known for 235 years will cease to exist.

But we need to do more than just require immigrants seeking entry to the U.S. as visitors or citizens to swear allegiance to our Constitution. We need to put the burden of proof on Muslims to demonstrate their desire to leave the world of Shariah behind them, to renounce its principles as well as to take a formal oath to uphold and affirm America's national covenant.

Furthermore, we need strict national quotas on immigration by Muslims – even those willing to renounce Shariah and swear an oath to the U.S. Constitution.

What is Farah so scared of? Well, he seems to be drinking from fellow WND islamophobe Pamela Geller's egg nog. It's those damned halal turkeys.

There are still more Jews in America than Muslims, though the gap is narrowing quickly. Yet, Jews do not use their influence to ensure that Jews and non-Jews alike are forced to eat according to rabbinical kosher rules. However, it is increasingly difficult for non-Muslims in America today to buy a Thanksgiving turkey that has not been ritually sacrificed to Allah. Most of the meat sold in Costco is also halal.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to eat meat sacrificed to Allah. With Islam a tiny minority religion in the U.S., it seems perverse that people like me have to be careful not to eat food ritually sacrificed to this god of the few.

Listen, Joe. I promise you that no incantation, blessing, or sacrificial slaughter will affect your turkey's deliciousness, and it certainly won't change your religion.

You also might want to check to see how the Native Americans feel about letting any more Christian Europeans into the country. After all, it's pretty hard for them to find a meal that has been prepared in accordance with their belief system, and they've been here for a little longer than 235 years.

Thanksgiving Terrorism: Halal Turkey!

Thanksgiving can be a stressful holiday for many. There's all the traveling, the cooking, and those awkward conversations with ideologically incompatible relatives.

As if this wasn't enough, conservative blogger Pamela Geller has issued a warning: Eating turkey may turn you into a Muslim.

America needs to wake up from their tryptophan-induced slumber, stop worrying about their creeping waistline, and start worrying about creeping Sharia.

Writing in American Thinker, Geller writes:

Did you know that the turkey you're going to enjoy on Thanksgiving Day this Thursday is probably halal? If it's a Butterball turkey, then it certainly is -- whether you like it or not. 

In my book Stop the Islamization of America: A Practical Guide to the Resistance, I report at length on the meat industry's halal scandal: its established practice of not separating halal meat from non-halal meat, and not labeling halal meat as such. And back in October 2010, I reported more little-noted but explosive new revelations: that much of the meat in Europe and the United States is being processed as halal without the knowledge of the non-Muslim consumers who buy it.

For those who are unfamiliar with the word "halal," it is a term designating that a particular food (or object, action, etc.) is seen as permissible under Islamic law.

Whether you like it or not, Butterball has issued a fatwa on your fat ass.

Geller continues her holiday horror story:

A citizen activist and reader of my website AtlasShrugs.com wrote to Butterball, one of the most popular producers of Thanksgiving turkeys in the United States, asking them if their turkeys were halal. Wendy Howze, a Butterball Consumer Response Representative, responded: "Our whole turkeys are certified halal."

In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.

Halal slaughter involves cutting the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and letting the blood drain out while saying "Bismillah allahu akbar" -- in the name of Allah the greatest.

This is shocking, folks. When little Tommy and Sally fight over that last drumstick, they are unwitting terrorists in training. I don't even want to think about what that wishbone is capable of doing.

Still others refuse to do so on principle: why should we be forced to conform to Islamic norms? It's Islamic supremacism on the march, yet again.

Non-Muslims in America and Europe don't deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent. So this Thanksgiving, fight for your freedom. Find a non-halal, non-Butterball turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. And write to Butterball and request, politely but firmly, that they stop selling only halal turkeys, and make non-halal turkeys available to Americans who still value our freedoms.

Across this great country, on Thanksgiving tables nationwide, infidel Americans are unwittingly going to be serving halal turkeys to their families this Thursday. Turkeys that are halal certified -- who wants that, especially on a day on which we are giving thanks to G-d for our freedom? I wouldn't knowingly buy a halal turkey -- would you? Halal turkey, slaughtered according to the rules of Islamic law, is just the opposite of what Thanksgiving represents: freedom and inclusiveness, neither of which are allowed for under that same Islamic law.

You got that, America? We can't let the turkey Taliban wage jihad on our day of thanks.

I mean, right?

Well, come to think of it, I have certainly eaten my share of Hebrew Nationals, and I haven't started sporting a kippah.

It's at times like these when it pays to stop for a second and think like a rational person (i.e. not Pamela Geller).

As my friend Stu said, "If you cook the turkey to an internal temperature of 165, it'll kill any Sharia that gets into it."

Fischer, Citing Quran, Calls For Military Ban On Muslims, Apparently Forgetting All That Bible Violence

Bryan Fischer, douchenozzle

If I didn't know any better, I would suspect that The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer is an invention -- brilliant comedy-slash-performance art for the ages, joining the ranks of Tony Clifton and Neil Hamburger.

His anti-LGBT, xenophobic, extreme Christian Right views are so ridiculously over the top, you'd be crazy not to wonder if he's simply an elaborate hoax.

If his extreme ideology wasn't enough, Fischer also lacks any hint of self-awareness, spouting blatant hypocrisy at every turn.

Take his recent post at World Nut Daily, in which he doubles down on his belief that Muslims have no place in the US military.

To my knowledge, I was the first voice in America to call for stopping the practice of Muslims serving in the U.S. military. I did so the day after the Fort Hood shootings in November of 2009.

I endured a withering firestorm of criticism from friend and foe alike, and was summoned to both CNN and the Alan Colmes radio show to explain myself.

Now a prominent Tennessee legislator, Rep. Rick Womick, is joining me in this call. Said he, at a Sharia-awareness-event over the weekend, "If you believe it (the Quran), you are commanded to kill anybody who will not convert to Islam."

And of course he is right about what the Quran teaches the followers of Muhammad and Allah. There are 109 verses in the Quran, by one count, that call for violence against infidel Christians and Jews. One example will suffice: "Slay the idolaters wherever you find them. Arrest them, besiege them, and lie in ambush everywhere for them" (Sura 9:5).

What part of "slay the idolaters wherever you find them" do brain-addled idolaters not understand? Muslims have been ordered by their god to kill you! What about that do you not get?

Further on:

Arresting, besieging and lying in ambush is exactly the kind of thing the United States military does to our enemies. Who are Muslims obligated to do that to? Who are the enemies of Islam that devout Muslims are ordered to arrest, besiege and ambush? Why, their fellow soldiers who believe in the God of Christianity.

It would be one thing if this ideology were covert and we were just finding out about it. But it's right there in their holy book where it has been for 1,400 years, where everybody, including our next commander in chief, can read it. It is sheer lunacy not to take this seriously.

In fact, I would suggest that I am showing more honor to Muslims than anyone else, because I am taking their religion more seriously than they are. I believe what Allah said through his Prophet, peace be upon him, that his followers have a sacred duty to slay infidel Americans. It shows a shameless lack of respect for Islam not to believe what their holy book says about their own religion. I have too much respect for Muslims and their sincerity and devotion to make that mistake.

That last paragraph is classic Fischer: Pure unadulterated hatred slathered in smarmy, patronizing righteousness.

While he is certainly correct in that the Quran is not in short supply of violent rhetoric and barbaric ideology, he seems to not also be aware that his Christian Bible is also not in short supply of the same violent rhetoric and barbaric ideology.

If Fischer wishes to ban all adherents of one religion based on the barbarism of its holy book, and the actions of some of its most extreme followers, then he might want to just call for a ban of Christians and Jews as well.

In a comparison of the Quran and the Bible for NPR, religion historian Philip Jenkins stated:

"Much to my surprise, the Islamic scriptures in the Quran were actually far less bloody and less violent than those in the Bible," Jenkins says.

"By the standards of the time, which is the 7th century A.D., the laws of war that are laid down by the Quran are actually reasonably humane," he says. "Then we turn to the Bible, and we actually find something that is for many people a real surprise. There is a specific kind of warfare laid down in the Bible which we can only call genocide."

It is called herem, and it means total annihilation. Consider the Book of 1 Samuel, when God instructs King Saul to attack the Amalekites: "And utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them," God says through the prophet Samuel. "But kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey."

When Saul failed to do that, God took away his kingdom.

"In other words," Jenkins says, "Saul has committed a dreadful sin by failing to complete genocide. And that passage echoes through Christian history. It is often used, for example, in American stories of the confrontation with Indians — not just is it legitimate to kill Indians, but you are violating God's law if you do not."

Jenkins notes that the history of Christianity is strewn with herem. During the Crusades in the Middle Ages, the Catholic popes declared the Muslims Amalekites. In the great religious wars in the 16th, 17th and 19th centuries, Protestants and Catholics each believed the other side were the Amalekites and should be utterly destroyed.

Let's have a look at some of the passages from Fischer's Bible:

If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the LORD thy God giveth thee, man or woman, that hath wrought wickedness in the sight of the LORD thy God, in transgressing his covenant; And hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded; And it be told thee, and thou hast heard of it, and enquired diligently, and, behold, it be true, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought in Israel; Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die. (Deuteronomy 17:2-5)

If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. And all Israel shall hear, and fear, and shall do no more any such wickedness as this is among you. (Deuteronomy 13:6)

Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. (1 Samuel 15)

Surely, Fischer would be the first to state that the above passages are out of context, relate to a particular time and place in human history, and don't represent modern Christianity.

Most Muslims would say the same thing about the passages Fischer has cherry-picked from the Quran.

Violence in the Quran, [Jenkins] and others say, is largely a defense against attack.

"By the standards of the time, which is the 7th century A.D., the laws of war that are laid down by the Quran are actually reasonably humane," he says.

And certainly, Fischer has a point when he points to some of the sensational stories of Islamic-fueled violence in recent times. We also must understand that these acts are a whole other animal, and most modern Muslims are far less extreme in their religious views than is Fischer.

That may be the popular notion of jihad, says Waleed El-Ansary, but it's the wrong one. El-Ansary, who teaches Islamic studies at the University of South Carolina, says the Quran explicitly condemns religious aggression and the killing of civilians. And it makes the distinction between jihad — legal warfare with the proper rules of engagement — and irjaf, or terrorism.

"All of those types of incidences — [Sept. 11], Maj. Nidal Hasan and so forth — those are all examples of irjaf, not jihad," he says. According to the Quran, he says, those who practice irjaf "are going to hell."

So what's going on here? After all, we all have images of Muslim radicals flying planes into buildings, shooting up soldiers at Fort Hood, trying to detonate a bomb on an airplane on Christmas Day. How to reconcile a peaceful Quran with these violent acts?

El-Ansary says that in the past 30 years, there's been a perfect storm that has created a violent strain of Islam. The first is political: frustration at Western intervention in the Muslim world. The second is intellectual: the rise of Wahhabi Islam, a more fundamentalist interpretation of Islam subscribed to by Osama bin Laden. El-Ansary says fundamentalists have distorted Islam for political purposes.

"Basically what they do is they take verses out of context and then use that to justify these egregious actions," he says.

El-Ansary says we are seeing more religious violence from Muslims now because the Islamic world is far more religious than is the West. Still, Jenkins says Judeo-Christian cultures shouldn't be smug. The Bible has plenty of violence.

"The scriptures are still there, dormant, but not dead," he says, "and they can be resurrected at any time. Witness the white supremacists who cite the murderous Phineas when calling for racial purity, or an anti-abortion activist when shooting a doctor who performs abortions.

In the end, the scholars can agree on one thing: The DNA of early Judaism, Christianity and Islam code for a lot of violence.

Pot, meet kettle.


Further reading: 30 Reasons Why Bryan Fischer is Dangerous and Must Be Stopped

Bryan Fischer: 'Why Not Feature Hitler & John Wayne Gacy During LGBT Month?'

Sorry, Bryan Fischer, but you've already earned your Asshole merit badge. We can't keep handing these things out.

American Family Association spokesman and gigantic asshole, Bryan Fischer, just keeps raising the bar, folks. Yesterday on his radio show, Bryan discussed his favorite bogeyman: Teh Gays. More specifically, Mr. Fischer was discussing LGBT History Month. Boy, did he get his panties in a bunch.

While LGBT History Month is nearly over, Fischer addressed it in relation to the Viki Knox controversy. You can hear his comments here.

This whole thing is about Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgender History Month. So my question again, if this is about homosexual history month, are they going to feature all the homosexuals that had an enormous impact on history?

Are they going to feature John Wayne Gacy? He's the homosexual pedophile, remember, that killed thirty-three young boys and young teenagers and buried them under the crawlspace in his house. He was a homosexual. Is he going to be a part of their display?

Adolf Hitler had a record as a homosexual prostitute in the streets of Vienna in the 1910s. He was denied promotions in the German military in World War I because of his homosexual behavior. He formed the Nazi Party in a homosexual bar, a gay bar, in Munich. All of his enforcers, almost every one of the Brownshirts; all the officers and almost all the Brownshirts were homosexuals. Is that going to be a part of Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgender Month? We will wait to see.

Not only are Fischer's comments hateful, offensive, and inaccurate, but his logic is completely stupid.

Bryan Fischer, asshole

I suppose, by his logic, Fischer would suggest we celebrate Susan Smith and Andrea Yates on Mother's Day.

Do you suggest we canonize Aileen Wuornos during Women's History Month, Bryan? Do we pay tribute to Richard Ramirez and the Menendez Brothers during National Hispanic Heritage Month? Do we honor the Dahmers during Military Family Week?

We can play this game all day long. I know you love to vilify an entire group of people by propping up one bad example. You also think that by pointing out that some bad people accepted evolution, that evolution should be rejected. Guess what, Brian? Evolution is still a naturally occurring phenomenon whether bad people accept it or not. LGBT people still exist even if one of them happens to do something wrong.  Guess how many serial killers and dictators were heterosexual, Bryan? A whole lot of them.

I keep thinking that, sooner or later, even the American Family Association (which despite its benign and virtuous-sounding name is a bona fide hate group) will think that he's gone too far.

And you'd think that American politicians would have the dignity to refuse to be associated with such a hateful little bile-spewing butthole, but they're practically waiting in line to hang out with him (or share the stage with him).

Don't hold your breath. Actually, in this case you might want to.

What Are They Smoking At Herman Cain Campaign HQ? Redux

Last month we asked, "What Are They Smoking At Herman Cain Campaign HQ?"

This month, while Cain is certainly enjoying more success in the polls than he was last month, we're still asking the same question.

This time around, however, there's no hiding the smoking part.

Michele Bachmann Doesn't Judge Homosexuals -- Except When She Does

After David Gregory played Michele Bachmann recordings of herself stating, among other things, that homosexuality is "part of Satan," "sexual dysfunction," and "personal enslavement," she clarified that she doesn't judge homosexuals.

In fact, states Bachmann, if she were president, she would treat them with "honor and dignity." And by "honor and dignity" she means "as Satanic and dysfunctional slaves."

She also stated that she would have no problem appointing an openly gay judge, as long as they shared her views -- which are that homosexuality is "part of Satan," "sexual dysfunction," and "personal enslavement."

Bryan Fischer: Fornication & Homosexuality Should Be Illegal

Bryan Fischer, of the American Family Association, has done it again. He's calling for the criminalization of homosexuality. And fornication.

Nothing is surprising coming from Fischer's mouth. What do you expect from the loudest voice of a designated hate group?

Not much we can do to shut him up. But we can continue to expose him as the hateful, xenophobic, homophobic, asshat that he is.

Perhaps one day our nation's leaders will stop associating with, and pandering to, such bigots.

Crazy Victoria Jackson Goes To Occupy Wall Street

Victoria Jackson, the former SNL cast member, and current crazy person, decided to show up at Occupy Wall Street to see why everyone's so angry.

You could watch this video or you could just go ahead and pound your head into the desk now. Your choice.






h/t Joe My God

The 10 Nuttiest Quotes From The Values Voter Summit (And 1 Sensible One)

This past weekend, thousands of cultural conservatives descended upon Washington, DC for the Values Voter Summit, sponsored by designated hate group Family Research Council. Each of the major GOP presidential hopefuls were in attendance, as were dozens of political and religious figures with well-documented affinity for religious bigotry, discrimination, xenophobia, and dishonesty. 

While this cast of characters generally toned down their rhetoric on the national stage, the event was in no way devoid of bilious remarks and poisonous ideology (and some good old fashioned insanity):

Bryan Fischer: "I submit to you that not a single one of our unalienable rights will be safe in the hands of a president who believes that we evolved from slime and that we are the descendents of apes and baboons."

Glenn Beck, in reference to Occupy Wall Street: "The violent left is coming to our streets" to "smash, to tear down, to kill, to bankrupt, to destroy."

Bryan Fischer: "Just as Islam represents the greatest long term threat to our liberty so the homosexual agenda represents the greatest immediate threat to every freedom and right that is enshrined in the First Amendment...we must choose as a nation between homosexuality and liberty, because we cannot have both."

Mat Staver: "The battles we face in America today are not about necessarily tangible borders but intangible ones, they involve the borders around life, liberty and family. And these borders like those physical borders in Israel are under intense attack. In America we are witnessing fierce battles to boot God out of the public schools and out of the public squares, to teach even the youngest of our children about sex and homosexuality, to make America a tax-supported right for any reason and to redefine the very definition of family and marriage."

Bryan Fischer: “We need a president who will treat homosexuality not as a political cause at all, but as a threat to public health...Homosexual behavior represents the same threat to human health that injection drug use does. I believe we need a president who understands that neither homosexual behavior nor injection drug use represent lifestyles that any responsible government ought to normalize, legitimize, legalize, protect, sanction, or subsidize."

Bryan Fischer: "By God's blessing, we have not been hit by a Muslim attack since 9/11. I suggest that in part, we have Major League Baseball to thank. You remember that the week after 9/11 Major League Baseball converted the seventh inning stretch from the singing of 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' to the singing of 'God Bless America?'"

Rep. Steve King: "I believe that the declaration was written with divine guidance. I believe that God moved the Founding Fathers around this country and the globe like men on a chess board."

Robert Jeffress: "That is a mainstream view, that Mormonism is a cult...Every true, born again follower of Christ ought to embrace a Christian over a non-Christian.”

Glenn Beck: "There is a race war that is going on in our country, declared by the black panthers and Louis Farrahkaun and anybody else says that America, somehow or another, stole the land from Mexico. There is a race war. It wasn't started by us, but they have declared it and we must end it."

Ed Vitagliano: "...The male desire to go out and conquer and to wander. I think that is part of the makeup of a man, but marriage helps to channel those things in a constructive way. I believe that's why there's so much promiscuity in the male homosexual community, because they're two men who behave the same way and there is no civilizing influence in their lives."

The most sensible and compassionate quote from the weekend came from Mitt Romney who stated:

“Our values ennoble the citizen and strengthen the nation. We should remember that decency and civility are values too. One of the speakers who will follow me today [Bryan Fischer], has crossed that line. Poisonous language does not advance our cause. It has never softened a single heart nor changed a single mind."

Amen.

The Batshit Files: News Roundup | 10.06.11

• The Westboro Baptist Church revealed their plans to picket Steve Jobs' funeral. They announced this via a tweet sent from an iPhone. (Buzzfeed)

• New Hampshire state representative (and Rick Perry BFF) Al Baldasaro has been asked to step down after statements he made about the openly gay soldier who appeared in the GOP debate. What did he say, exactly? Oh just that he thought the booing was “great,” because he “was so disgusted over that gay marine coming out...He doesn't realize it, but when the shit hits the fan, you want your brothers covering your back, not looking at your back.” (The Advocate)

• Bill O'Reilly says it's "always bad to use Nazis in analogies." Except if you're Bill O'Reilly. (Media Matters)

• Herman Cain: "If you don't have a job, and you're not rich, blame yourself!" (Think Progress)

• Poor Bryan Fischer. He's not really a hateful bigot when he likens gays to domestic terrorists, pedophiles, slave traders and murderers -- he's simply "telling the truth." (Right Wing Watch)

• You're right, WorldNetDaily. Immigration to the US by "Mexicans and others" is exactly like the Nazi Invasion Of Europe. (Media Matters)

• Hank Williams, Jr. seems to think that the Freedom of Speech means that television networks are required to pay him millions of dollars to air his song in a television program. (NY Mag)

• Self-proclaimed prophet Bobby Conner says the US policy on Israel caused the BP oil spill. (Right Wing Watch)

• Fox and Friends' Brian Kilmeade says that, unlike the Occupy Wall Street movement, the Tea Parties "popped up out of nowhere." And by "out of nowhere," he means "promoted relentlessly by Fox News." (Media Matters)

• Daniel Lapin of Toward Tradition appeared on The 700 Club with Pat Robertson to tell us that the Bible warned us of the 9/11 attacks, which were based on Hitler's dream. (Right Wing Watch)

• The right wing media really does not like the new poverty-stricken Sesame Street muppet at all. (Media Matters)

• Michael Bresciani of Renew America wrote that the booing of the openly gay soldier at the GOP debate (and the silence from the candidates) was justified because the crowd, and the candidates, rightly adhere “to the scriptural belief that homosexuality is a sin of perversion and the promulgation or promoting of it can make them guilty, culpable or complicit by association.” (Right Wing Watch)

• Texas Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert told the House that Obama's jobs bill is really just a ruse to destroy traditional marriage. (The Advocate)

Mormon-Hating Bigot Bryan Fischer To Follow Romney At Values Voter Summit

Bryan Fischer, douchebag

The Values Voter Summit is coming up this weekend, when some of the most hateful, bigoted, xenophobic, and theocratic figures in American faith and politics will line up to speak to thousands in Washington, DC.

Among those speakers will be seven of the top GOP hopefuls: Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Ron Paul. 

Of all the hateful figures appearing, the most bigoted one in the bunch is none other than Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association. 

He's so controversial that even the organizers of the Values Voter Summit kept him off the list of speakers. However, if you dig a little deeper into the event's schedule, one will find that Fischer is indeed speaking. 

And no, he's not buried in some breakaway session. He's speaking right after GOP front-runner Mitt Romney. 

Rachel Maddow commented earlier this week on Fischer's awkward placement on the schedule. See, Bryan Fischer has said some pretty nasty stuff about Mormons, including his belief that the First Amendment doesn't apply to them. 

Perhaps this is a subtle way for the VVS folks to undermine Mitt Romney's recent positioning as front-runner for the GOP nomination.  Herman Cain has recently tied Romney in polls, and Fischer would like nothing more than to see Cain get the nomination. (Cain is, according to Fischer, "authentically black," unlike our current president.) Or maybe this is just poor scheduling. Wait, no, that's not likely at all.

Pat Robertson: 'Halloween Is Satan's Night'

Every fall, like clockwork, the leaves change, the Red Sox collapse, and the Christian Right starts freaking out about Halloween.

Just last week we revisited a classic example of religious Halloween paranoia. While that one's hard to beat, there's always someone willing to stick their neck out.

Enter Pat Robertson.

On the Sept. 27 broadcast of the 700 Club, Pat fielded a question from a viewer about how Christians should approach Halloween.

Pat says,"We don't believe in haunted. We don't believe in ghosts," apparently forgetting about that one crucial part of the Holy Trinity.

He continues: "Halloween is Satan's night! It's the night for the devil! It's the time when witches and goblins...like the dead rising..."

Okay, Pat. You say Christians don't believe in 'haunted.' They don't believe in 'ghosts.' But you believe that Halloween is 'Satan's night,' a night for the devil? We don't believe in devils at my house, Pat. We do believe in candy corn, however. Lots of it.

And speaking of zombies, Pat, Christianity has several of the most well-known examples of 'the dead rising' ever. Embrace the zombies, dude.

Back in your casket, Pat. You're scaring the children.

Religious Nutjob Heckles Obama With Antichrist Craziness

Political events are turning up some doozies this fall. We've seen audience members at GOP debates cheer for executions and dying uninsured citizens. We've also seen them boo US military members who happen to be gay.

At the House of Blues in Los Angeles yesterday, an audience member interrupted President Obama by shouting about Jesus for several seconds before finally claiming that Obama is the Antichrist.

The guy really should have checked Snopes before embarrassing himself like that.