'Gangnam Style' Prophesies Death Of Pope Benedict

Pat Robertson's Advice To Man With Marital Woes: Become A Muslim And Beat Her

How do the producers of the 700 Club continue to allow Pat Robertson to give advice?

“Well you could become a Muslim and beat her," said Robertson. "I don’t think we condone wife-beating these days but something has got to be done.”

Watch:

Pat Robertson: Democrats Are The 'Party Of Gays, Godlessness And Whatever Else'

It's gotten to the point that it would be newsworthy if Pat Robertson didn't say something completely insane in his broadcast. He's a broken record of bigotry, senility, and illogic.

That being said, Robertson is downright outraged that the Democratic platform openly embraces marriage equality and the right to abortion.

Robertson, speaking on The 700 Club:

Back in the 1850s or 60s there was a charge that one party was the party of rum, Romanism and rebellion. I don’t know what you label the Democrats now but it’s the party of gays, godlessness and whatever else. I mean, same-sex marriage is in the platform, they want to go along with that as a right, I’m just astounded.
…
They can’t defend it and you ask yourself, you’re going to go before the American people and that’s going to be the face they’re going to present to America. You have insulted the Catholic Church with your rules, you have insulted right-to-work states, you have insulted certain union groups with your stand on the pipeline and now you’re going after God, it makes no sense but that’s what they want to do.

Watch:

Robertson: The Bible Was 'Terribly Wrong' About Slavery, But Not About Homosexuality

Evangelicals love to cherry-pick their scripture. They love to cite 'The Word of God' when it rails against homosexuality. "The Bible is quote clear," they'll tell you.

The Bible is quite clear about a lot of things that Christians have long dismissed: slavery, wearing blended fabrics, eating shellfish, executing people for petty offenses, etc.

Pat Robertson has a long history of hating gay people. "The Bible is so clear about homosexuality," he's said.

However, Pat, like many evangelical Christians, loves to cherry-pick.

"Despite what the Bible says, “We have moved in our conception of the value of human beings until we realized slavery was terribly wrong.”

Have we, Pat? It seems like just a few months ago, evangelicals were up in arms when Dan Savage suggested the same thing.

SAVAGE: We can learn to ignore the bullshit about gay people in the Bible the same way have learned to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about shellfish about slavery, about dinner about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation. We ignore bullshit in the bible about all sorts of things. The Bible is a radically pro-slavery document. Slave owners waived Bibles over their heads during the civil war and justified it…We ignore what the Bible says about slavery because the Bible got slavery wrong.…If the Bible got the easiest moral question that humanity has ever faced wrong, slavery. What are the odds that the Bible got something as complicated as human sexuality wrong? 100 percent.

So, we have Pat Robertson admitting that the Bible was "terribly wrong" about slavery. To extend Pat's thoughts on the "value of human beings" idea into the treatment of the LGBT population doesn't seem to be much of a stretch, does it? It's not that radical a notion.

It will happen. Eventually. Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until bigoted dinosaurs like Pat Robertson die out.

Bryan Fischer: Satan Behind Gay Rights, Planned Parenthood & Environmentalism

Another day, another batshit rant from Bryan Fischer.

According to Fischer, Old Scratch is behind everything from gay rights to Planned Parenthood to environmentalism.

Watch:

Florida Teacher Accused Of Performing Cutting Ritual On Students To Rid Them Of Demons

Harkins

Florida, you so crazy.

Via First Coast News:

In what St. Petersburg police are calling a weird religious ritual, they have arrested 35-year old Danielle Harkins for encouraging several teenagers to cut and burn themselves.

The cutting was said to release evil spirits from their body, and the cauterizing of the wounds with fire was to prevent the spirits from getting back in.

The event happened close to the St. Petersburg Pier downtown.

Police say only two of the teenagers were actually cut.

According to authorities, she caused second-degree burns in an attempt to "brand" one of the students' hands with a cigarette lighter. Because of windy conditions next to the pier, the flame wouldn't stay, so she poured perfume on the wound and set it on fire.

Via New York Daily News:

"There was apparently some chanting and then dancing around this fire that was taking place," St. Petersburg Police Department spokesman Mike Puetz told Fox Tampa Bay.

Two kids were cut, and one sustained second-degree burns after the teacher allegedly poured perfume on his wound and lit it with a cigarette lighter, investigators told WTSP.

One of them was cut in the neck with a broken bottle and the wound was cauterized with a heated-up house key, authorities told Bay News 9.

Fischer: Gays Cannot Be Reasoned With Because God Has Given Them Over To Depraved Minds

Via Right Wing Watch:

"...you cannot reason with these people because they are impervious to facts, they are impervious to logic, they are impervious to reason, they are impervious to history, they are impervious to the truth."

Bryan, that's actually a pretty apt description of yourself and your fellow Christian Right lunatics.

Go on.

"And the reason that gays and liberals and the like cannot be reasoned with is because God has given them over to a "depraved mind," so "their thinking is messed up [and] they don't process information the way normal people process information."

Wait, what?. I don't even.

Bryan Fischer: Allowing Gay Parents To Adopt 'Is A Form Of Sexual Abuse'

Via Right Wing Watch:

Bryan Fischer is in top form in today's anti-gay rant in which he declares that allowing gay parents to adopt is a "form of sexual abuse."

Watch:

NC Pastor: Pen In All Gays & Lesbians & Wait For Them Die Out

There's a point where religious morality gets so completely twisted that it becomes the epitome of pure evil.

Take North Carolina Pastor Charles Worley of Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, NC.

Here's what the minister suggested to his congregation as a way to address the LGBT population:

I figured a way out — a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers. But I couldn’t get it passed through Congress. Build a great big large fence, 150 or 100 miles long. Put all the lesbians in there. Fly over and drop some food. Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals. Have that fence electrified so they can’t get out. Feed ‘em, and– And you know what? In a few years they’ll die out. You know why? They can’t reproduce.

Watch:



Coming on the heels of Amendment One, and hateful remarks by hate-mongering NC pastors Sean Harris and Patrick Wooden, Worley's comments underscore the fact that, despite how far we've come, religious bigotry is alive and well in North Carolina.

Wife Of NC Senator: Amendment One Is Necessary ‘To Protect The Caucasian Race’

Sen. Brunstetter, Caucasian

The Amendment One debate has certainly had its share of crazy, but a story reported by Pam's House Blend really takes the cake.

Chad Nance, a freelance journalist covering the NC election, recorded the wife of NC Sen. Peter Brunstetter saying some ridiculously offensive stuff about Amendment One.

Nance said he recorded a conversation with the woman, whose name is Jodie Brunstetter, on video, and that she confirmed that she used the term “Caucasian” in a discussion about the marriage amendment, but insisted that otherwise her comments had been taken out of context by other poll workers.

…Nance paraphrased the remarks, as told to him by those who were present: “During the conversation, Ms. Brunstetter said her husband was the architect of Amendment 1, and one of the reasons he wrote it was to protect the Caucasian race. She said Caucasians or whites created this country. We wrote the Constitution. This is about protecting the Constitution. There already is a law on the books against same-sex marriage, but this protects the Constitution from activist judges.”

Nance said he recruited a friend, who works for the Coalition to Protect All North Carolina Families, to witness his interview with Jodie Brunstetter. He said Brunstetter reluctantly acknowledged that she had used the term “Caucasian” and then repeated the statement previously attributed to her, but substituted the pronoun “we” for “Caucasian. Nance said Brunstetter insisted there was nothing racial about her remarks, but could not explain why she used the term “Caucasian.”

Holy shitballs, people. This is what we're up against in NC.

When you visit the polls on May 8, I hope you realize that voting for Amendment One is to align yourself with this garbage.

Pat Robertson: Scientists "Can't Speculate About The Origins Of Life Because They Weren't There"

Pat Robertson doesn't think scientists can speculate about the origins of life 'because they weren't there.' In the same breath, he also says it's okay to believe a 'geologist who tells you something existed 300 million years ago.'

Come again, Pat?

And, of course, it's also okay to believe the Genesis origin story that was written by guys who weren't there.

Watch:

Rick Santorum's Greatest Hits

We've dedicated a lot of posts here to Rick Santorum. I had considered posting a look back at the insanity that was the Rick Santorum campaign, but I'd honestly rather pound roofing nails into my eye sockets.

Thankfully, the folks at Right Wing Watch pulled together a highlight reel for us.

Enjoy, and pour one out for Rick. Hopefully his improbable rise to possible GOP candidate for the nomination is the closest we will ever come to an American theocracy.

Robertson: "Demonic Possession" Behind Homosexuality

Offered without comment:

Pastor Dennis Terry Introduces Rick Santorum, Tells Non-Christians And Liberals To Get Out Of America

Via HuffPo:

Praying for a white, straight, Christian America.

In a revival type speech, Greenwell Springs Baptist Church pastor Rev. Dennis Terry offered some pointed words about abortion, gay marriage, and prayer in schools as he introduced Family Research Council president Tony Perkins and 2012 Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

So, here we have Dennis Terry, who is a raging homophobic, science-denying, hate-monger, introducing Tony Perkins, another raging homophobic, who is president of the Family Research Center, an SLPC-designated hate group, and Rick Santorum.

As if there was any more correlations necessary to illustrate Rick Santorum's theocratic, discriminatory, and intolerant views.

"There is only one God and his name is Jesus ... We don't worship Buddha, we don't worship Mohammad, we don't worship Allah, we worship God, we worship God's son Jesus Christ...God, have favor on Rick Santorum." said Terry.

Watch:

Hi, I'm Randall Terry And I'm Insane

Randall Terry, anti-choice activist and founder of Operation Save America (formerly Operation Rescue), is a freaking lunatic.

Randall Terry, unhinged man

You probably know the guy from his outlandish anti-choice stunts, which have included blockading the entrances to abortion clinics, his protest of Barack Obama's commencement visit to the University of Notre Dame, or his statement that abortion provider Dr. George Tiller 'reaped what he sowed' when he was assassinated in 2009.

You also may know that Randall Terry is actually running for president of the United States. Kind of. Terry's presidency has been more about getting graphic anti-choice ads on television than anything.

Regardless, Randall Terry is on the ballot in 6 Democratic primaries, and on March 6 in Oklahoma, actually managed to swipe a delegate from President Obama, a 'child-killer,' according to Terry.

Terry wasted no time gloating over his Oklahoma feat, releasing the below video, in which he taunts his adversaries (including Obama, Slate, and Jezebel).

What a lunatic, this guy.

Bryan Fischer: 'The Left Hates Women'

According to Bryan Fischer of the AFA, it's not conservatives who are disrespecting women -- it's the left. Liberals, says Fischer, are almost always the source of misogyny, hatred, and verbal attacks. They're just like Islamic Radicals, he says, treating women as something less than human.

Fischer, looking down on women

Fischer's idea of respect sure is strange.

In February, he stated that "women are not wired, either by evolution or by God, whoever is responsible for this difference, they are not prepared by DNA and innate personality characteristics to be in [combat]."

Last August, Fischer stated that a woman can only be president only if there aren't any godly men available to do the job.

Just last week, he stated that Sandra Fluke is "sleeping with so many guys she can't keep track," and that the "definition of "slut" is "a promiscuous woman." The left got Rush to apologize for using the dictionary accurately."

In January, responding to a report that 96.6% of all sexual assaults in military are male on female or male on male, Fischer actually said this: "Remove women and gays, problem vanishes."

Also in January, Fischer blamed women, and the feminization of public policy, for the sorry state of affairs in America.

Last April, Fischer said that welfare provides incentive for black women to "rut like rabbits."

This man has zero self-awareness.

Watch:

12 Headlines That Prove We're Living In Bizarro World

If I had a nickel for every time I heard a news story over the past 12 months that seemed like something out of a dystopian political mockumentary, I would have joined the ranks of the 1 percent by now.

While shocking, we become numb to these stories after a while. Like glitter-bombings on the GOP campaign trail, we just brush them off and go on about our business.

But, for just a minute, try to take yourself back in time -- even just a few years -- and try to forget everything you know now. Imagine the shock you'd experience upon reading the following headlines:

Conservative Voters Boo Ron Paul's 'Golden Rule' (Yahoo! News, Jan 19, 2012)

Bill Would Ban Aborted Fetuses in Food (ABC News, Jan 26, 2012)

Okla. Senate Gives 'Personhood' to Embryos (ABC News, Feb 16, 2012)

An American soldier booed at GOP debate (Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Sept 23, 2011)

Tea Party Debate Audience Cheered Idea of Letting Uninsured Patients Die (ABC News, Sep 13, 2011)

Santorum backer suggests aspirin as birth control (USA Today, Feb 16, 2012)

GOP Debate Audience Boos Contraception (Dallas Morning News, Feb 22, 2012)

Mitt Romney Declares “Corporations Are People” (Time, Aug 11, 2011)

Santorum in '08: "Satan is attacking" America (CBS News, Feb 21, 2012)

Megadeth rocker endorses Rick Santorum for president (Patriot News, Feb 16, 2012)

Dick Cheney lobbied for Maryland gay marriage measure (NY Daily News, Feb. 18, 2012)

John Edwards sex tape to be destroyed (News & Observer, Feb 24)


We are truly living in strange times.

Fischer: Muslim Immigrants Must Convert To Christianity

A day hardly goes by when Bryan Fischer doesn't say something insane.

Bryan Fischer, asshole

Now, we know that Bryan Fischer is an Islamaphobe. He's said Muslims have no first amendment rights. He thinks they should be banned from the military. He's urged the US to ban the construction of mosques. He's stated that they are dangerous, unintelligent and mentally ill due to inbreeding. He's called Muslim Americans a toxic cancer to society. It goes on and on.

Yesterday, Fischer continued his ignorant, anti-Muslim tirade, calling (once again) for the conversion of all Muslim immigrants to Christianity.

On his hateful little show, "Focal Point," Fischer stated that all Muslim immigrants have "got to embrace your God, they've got to embrace your faith," claiming once again that "America is a Christian nation."

One of my favorite of Fischer's claims from this particular tirade was, "Muslims worship an entirely different God." You know, that other God who revealed himself to Abraham.

Watch:

Santorum, Apparently Forgetting Everything He's Ever Said, Says 'Government Control Of Your Lives' Has 'Gotta Stop'

Seriously, someone please have a discussion with Rick Santorum about self-awareness.

Speaking today at CPAC, Santorum actually said this (referring to the Obama contraception flap):

"It's not about contraception. It's about economic liberty, its about freedom of speech its about freedom of religion, its about government control of your lives and its gotta stop!"

For real. He said that.

The same Santorum who said he would invalidate all gay marriages.

The same Santorum who said that the right to privacy as it relates to having consensual sex with another adult in one's own home "doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution."

The same Santorum who said about contraception, "It's not okay. It's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be."

The same Santorum who said he would "advocate that any doctor that performs an abortion, should be criminally charged for doing so."

The same Santorum who said this:

"They have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do, government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulations low, that we shouldn’t get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn’t get involved in cultural issues.

That is not how traditional conservatives view the world. There is no such society that I’m aware of, where we’ve had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture."

Watch Rick's nutty remarks from CPAC:

Pastor Gives God's State Of The Union

Pastor,  and prop aficionado, Steven Andrew

Pastor Steven Andrew, who recently blessed us with his overtly-theocratic and grammatically offensive Christian Voters Guide, delivered God's State of the Union address yesterday. (The video of the address can be viewed below.)

So, not only are Americans entitled to a GOP rebuttal, we also get to hear God's.

Or at least God as he speaks through Pastor Andrew (which is, apparently, speaking in a Mister Rogers tone, but with a slight lisp, and surrounded by props).

Andrew begins his address with a prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before you in Jesus' name, and father we ask, what is your state of the union. What do you want to tell Americans? Father, we look to you. You are our God, and we thank you now for answering us."

Andrew then spends some time telling us that America is a Christian nation, as he is wont to do. You see, in Andrew's view, non-Christians are not Americans. And there's certainly no place for homosexuals here, either.

What kind of God is willing to overlook a lukewarm church? A God who is willing to overlook a nation that has taken God out of government, schools, and courts? A God who is willing to overlook the sins of taking the holy bible and Christian prayer of school. A god who is willing to overlook 53+ million abortions?...But the blood of Jesus Christ is able to cleanse our nation and each individual who has been partaking of those abortions.

There is forgiveness for you and there's forgiveness for America through Jesus Christ. And also a God who's willing to overlook the sexual and homosexual sins that have been in the United States of America. Can you imagine a love so great?

Now I also want to ask you to look at a God who's willing to forgive Americans for foreign gods. God is a jealous God and yet the blood of Jesus says that He will forgive us as we repent from foreign gods.

Did you know that 80% of Americans say are Christians today? We have always been a Christian nation and we always will be a Christian nation. The reason is because we are a covenant Christian nation. You can't break a covenant.

Now, also look at a God willing to forgive all the Christians and Catholics who have voted for ungodly people, like Barack Obama, or for a Mormon cult member like Mitt Romney.

In an interview with The Christian Post, Andrew was asked about his belief that Obama is ungodly. He stated that Obama is a "wolf in sheep's clothing."

"What is Obama's fruit? His fruit is taking God out of government, lying that we're not a Christian nation, leaving living babies alone to die who survive botched abortions, repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell...this is his fruit. So according to our Lord Jesus Christ, Obama's a wolf in sheep's clothing. It doesn't matter what he says."

Andrew believes that Obama was trying to turn George Washington's "Christian law into a non-Christian law," in regards to repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell.

"Ever since the beginning of the USA, homosexual sin has been outlawed in the military and the reason is because we want God to bless us in the military. And now for the first time in America people are trying to change into non-Christian ways," he said.

"Obama is against Christ...he's trying to break our covenant with God. The greatest evil anyone can do is leading a nation away from Jehovah."

Regarding Mitt Romney as "cult member," Andrew's USA Christian Ministries stated the following in a press release:

To help Christians understand the Mormon election issue [Andrew] has written "Five Mormon Cult Errors." The errors are Mormons: 1) deny God, 2) preach another gospel, 3) hide the cross, 4) have occult practice and 5) are anti-Christian.

"Many people know that Mormons teach heresies like Jesus is the spirit brother of Lucifer. But do people know voting for Romney will bring God's judgment (2 Chronicles 19:2)?" he adds. "Voting for Romney or Obama who do not follow God causes the economy to decline and removes Christian freedoms (Deuteronomy 28, Leviticus 26).

"If you love Jesus Christ, you won't vote for Mormon Romney," he adds."

Regarding homosexuality, here are some gems from Pastor Andrew, in his own words:

God created male and female. He shows us that there is a difference between the holy ways of one man and one woman lifelong marriage and the unholy ways of fornication, adultery and homosexual sin. God says that when people commit sexual immorality, they “defile My holy name” and a nation doing so is “defiled.”

God and history show us that God destroys homosexual societies.

Be careful you are not deceived. Some are lying about what our Founding Fathers believed on sexual sin. The truth is answered with this question: Who made the laws making homosexual sin illegal in the USA? Our Founding Fathers, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson… made homosexual sin illegal in all thirteen colonies, followed by all fifty states. Why? They obeyed God. They were modest and preferred not to say the word “sodomy” so they called the sin “a crime not fit to be named”. George Washington removed by court martial homosexuals out of the military to have God’s blessing.

You have to decide are you on God’s side and our Founding Fathers’ side or are you on sin’s side. You can’t support both. Which side are you on?

In God's State of the Union, Andrew wraps up with a quick prayer, and a sales pitch to purchase his book.